This last week, Kaija and I enjoyed a once in a lifetime opportunity to gather with my family at a dude ranch. Three months ago, I had no idea what a “dude ranch” was, but to give it to you in a nutshell, it’s a place where people can live the “all-inclusive” cowboy life. Horseback riding lessons, herding and sorting cattle, shooting guns, archery and fishing. Beautiful hikes, competitive cornhole and horseshoes, and cooling off in the river. And we can’t forget the homemade country food that they prepare for you every meal. Dude ranches truly are a western paradise. I was curious how dude ranches got their name. Why “dude?” After a little bit of research, I discovered that back in days of the Wild West, the “true westerners” looked down on the rich easterners that ventured out west to try out the cowboy life. “Dude” was coined to describe the wealthy who came to “experience the west” without the real and sometimes life-threatening risks that cowboys faced daily. “Guest” ranches were formed to host those wealthy easterners and capitalize on a new business opportunity. I chuckled as I realized that Kaija and I would have been labeled as “dudes.” Gerogians flying out on a 7-47 to experience all the glories of cowboy life without having to scoop the poop.

Although these “dudes” had zero responsibilities, I can imagine they left the west with an appreciation for cowboy life. As a dude myself, I can attest that even at a dude ranch you travel back home with new insights. After spending countless hours on horseback, thinking all the while, I was able to gain some insights from Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch.

Be passionate about what you do.

Sylvan Dale is owned and operated by a couple named Dave and Susan. Every week, they host a new family of “dudes” on their western adventure. Their lives are a western version of the movie “Groundhog Day.” Dave and Susan have a schedule of events that they repeat weekly to give the dudes the most memorable cowboy experience possible. One early morning we rode on horseback to the top of a ridge to arrive to Dave and Susan cooking a fresh country breakfast over a fire. They were happy to serve us in any way possible, coming to collect our plates when we finished, and even asking if we needed refills. On another evening, Dave and Susan gave a two hour presentation about the history of the Sylvan Dale land. Their enthusiasm glows as they express their love of the ranch land. That is why the Sylvan Dale logo is a heart representing the “love of the land.” I sat back and listened to these folks speak with such passion about Sylvan Dale. They have passion for everything they do, and their enthusiasm for Sylvan Dale is infectious.

What is special about Dave and Susan? They are passionate about what they do. They have a reason to rise and shine every morning.What a HAPPY life. Full of hard work and busy. But HAPPY. We all need to build a life that energizes us to wake up and seize the day. Finding your WHY in your life will be incredibly important as you find something you are passionate about. Find something you are passionate about and work towards it a little bit each day. I look at Dave and Susan as examples of a life well lived. They have built a happy life, and live for something much bigger than themselves. If you are struggling to find your passion, read my last blog named “WHY Happiness Hackz Began.”

Treat people like people, not objects.

Have you ever heard an equestrian get excited to talk about their love of horses? I figured this bond was similar to that of a pet and its owner, but was amazed to discover that there was more to this human-equine bond. To understand this completely, you need to understand that a horse weighs 1500-2000 lbs and I weigh a whopping 220 lbs. My horse, Maria, was a draft horse typically used for heavy labor. You don’t realize the brute strength these animals possess until you are saddled up, and completely their mercy. Horses are powerful creatures, and if you don’t know how to communicate with them, you will be in for a wild ride.

Guest horses are trained to respond to simple cues that correspond with actions such as backing up, moving forward, speeding up, and turning. Making a clicking or kissing noise would cue the horse to giddy up into a jog or a lope. Applying pressure to the belly with your feet would be similar to pressing the gas pedal on a car. When you kick or squeeze, the horse moves forward. The first time riding a horse is similar to the first time driving a car. You pump the gas too strong and lunge forward. You struggle to turn the wheel. The vehicle suddenly stops when you pump the break out of fear. The maneuvering that we desire for the car is often harder to realize than we realize. Similarly, the messages we send to the horse may be communicating the exact OPPOSITE of what we want them to do. I had this epiphany when my cousin Pierce was yelling at his stubborn horse to “GO, GO, GO,” only to discover that “GO” sounded like “Woah” which was a cue for stopping.

For beginners, the car metaphor is an effective way to teach the basics. However, after observing carefully, I noticed that the wranglers rode without any cues the “dudes” had to use. When we asked Ali, one of the wranglers, how she was able to telepathically signal the horse to speed up, she mentioned that she transferred “energy” to her horse. She treated the horse as something much more than a machine or object, but as a living, breathing creature capable of sensing energy. Instead of treating the horse like an object to fulfill her needs, she practically treated it as a person! The wranglers knew that both parties, the wrangler and the horse, would be happier and more successful if they fostered a human-equine bond.

How do these stories relate to you? Have you ever had a coworker, family member, spouse, or child that just was stubborn as my cousin’s horse. You want them to do something, often times for their own good, and they just stand there as you scream, “GO, GO!” One of the most frustrating things in life is trying to help somebody you love only to have them ignore you, or rebel against you. If you nodded your head at all while reading that, I want you to ask yourself the following 2 questions:

Do I think of ___(insert name)___ as an object to fulfill my selfish desires, OR do I treat them as a person?
Are the messages I’m sending to ___(insert name)___ conveying the message I mean to transmit?

Similar to my cousin kicking and screaming, “GO” to his horse (a message that sounds an awful lot like Woah/Stop) we may be sending messages to loved ones that are not transmitted the way we intended them to be. If we care about delivering the message effectively, we will do what we can to make sure it is received as we intended. This process starts by changing our perspective on the individual. If you are frustrated at a coworker, spouse, or child, chances are you have countless justifications for why YOU are right and why THEY are wrong. Start by taking all those justifications and throwing them out the window. Then, take time to show them that you care. Find out what their love language is and SHOW that you love them unconditionally. Show them that you love them, not because you want them to CHANGE, but simply because you LOVE them. People are intuitive enough to know (your actions will also show) when you are performing an act of “love” with ulterior motives. People, just like horses, can feel your “energy” or your feelings with the words you speak and the things you do. Be genuine. Show that you care by loving unconditionally. Theodore Roosevelt hit the nail on the head when he said:

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

When we cease to see people as objects, when we show that we CARE, we realize there is a better way to communicate. In the case of my cousin, he realized that giving the horse a firm squeeze to the belly prompted the horse to start a slow walk. After seeing people as they truly are, we start to show our love for them. When they know how much we care, they may start to care about what we know and follow the promptings we give. Sometimes, we may feel that our relationships are going nowhere, like a stubborn horse. However, once we identify, redirect, and navigate our feelings with love, the outcome is significantly more gratifying to both parties.

Relax and enjoy the ride

Horses live in the present. They do not dwell on the past or worry about the future. They simply take each moment for what it is. Humans can benefit from this wise equestrian perspective. The present moment is meant to be lived. Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda said,

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it's called the present.”

Living in the present means accepting each moment for what it is and finding joy in the precious seconds. Living in the moment may mean being conscious of your thoughts. It may mean going on a walk with your loved one, putting your phone away at family dinner, or being open to a new adventure or opportunity. There are so many potentially joyous moments that are robbed by our anxiety for the future or regret for the past. Clearing your mind of the past and future allows you to relax and appreciate the present.

Relaxing along the way is key to enjoying the ride. When on horseback, the first time loping really throws you for a loop. You begin to bounce as the horse picks up to a three beat pace. Your first reaction is to grab the horn of the saddle. While you’d think that this would stabilize you, it only makes the ride more bumpy! Grabbing the horn tightens your body and throws you around even more! The only way to enjoy the ride and stay on the saddle is to relax. The most memorable experience on horseback was when we loped across a green Colorado meadow tucked away in the mountains. We relaxed and enjoyed the ride. The crisp air, the beating sound of hooves, and the field of flowers.

There are moments in life better enjoyed when we relax. We must compartmentalize our long day at work and come home to live in the present with our family. We oughta take the time to “put the gram away” (Thanks Kanye West) and live in the present with the amazing individuals surrounding us. We need to redirect our thoughts from the past and future, to the present. While I am an advocate or planning for the future, there is a stark difference between planning for, and fearing the future. We must learn from the past, plan for the future, and enjoy the present moment. What are some things you can do to better allow yourself to relax and enjoy the ride of life?

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

Before we left the ranch, we had the chance to gather our entire family with Dave, Sue and the other staff to sing “Cowboy Logic” and have a Sylvan Dale Awards Ceremony. As we received our awards and listened to the happy staff sing cowboy logic, I realized that us dudes had gone west and learned a little bit of that cowboy intuition. The true westerners took time to teach us city slicker “dudes” some valuable lessons in life. Although I can’t say I’ve developed cowboy logic, I’ve returned back to Georgia with my sweet wife with a renewed perspective on life.

Before I end, I must give a huge thanks to my amazing family who made this vacation happen. We were able to create so many special moments together. This will be a week that Kaija and I remember forever and we are so happy we got to spend it with you!