Why I Ran a Marathon With No Training.

I ran a Marathon with no training. Yes, call me Pheidippides. Who is that? Pheidippides was the Greek messenger who ran from the battlefield of Marathon nonstop to Athens to announce the victory over the Persians. Legend has it that he ran into the assembly hall and shouted, “We have won!” Then he fell over dead. I guess you could say that Pheidippides and I are both similar in the fact that we were both VERY underprepared, except I survived to tell the tale. No disrespect at all to Pheidippides, the father of Marathons. I’m just happy I survived and was able to survive to tell the tale of my impulse decision marathon with zero training and share the lessons I learned from it. If you were to tell me 2 years ago that I would run a zero train marathon I would have thought you were out of your mind. So before I go into the nitty gritty about my marathon, let me paint a picture of my fitness origins.

My entire life I have looked at those people with the 26.2 stickers and thought of them as freaks of nature, and just straight up freaks. Freaks of nature, because, HOW the hell could somebody run that far without dying?! (Like Pheidippides) And freaks because, WHY the hell would anyone voluntarily sign up for self inflicted pain?! In order to fully understand my mindset on this, you have to understand that for the majority of my athletic career, I spent time lifting weights, eating double wrapped, double meat Chipotle Burritos, and drinking pints of BYU chocolate whole milk. My theory was that  fitness was being able to BE the biggest and lift the biggest. I was your typical bro. This mentality helped me in some aspects of my athletic career at BYU Cheer, like when I could shoulder press an entire human being with one arm. BUT, my abilities to do the basic tumbling required suffered dramatically. Have you ever seen a hippo do a backflip? That was me. And it showed. I weighed 247 and was doing backflips. But not at first.

My BYU cheer coach, Jocelyn Allan, had a dramatic impact on my life for the lessons that she taught me. One of the things I will never forget about her was how she set high expectations for us. Jocelynn had a policy that you must be able to land a backflip in order to cheer at Basketball games in the Marriott Center. If you didn’t have your back tuck, you didn’t cheer. Sorry. That was just the policy. That was the standard of excellence! While I wasn’t a big fan of the policy, it was my responsibility and duty to perform to the expectations and basic requirements of the team. However, instead of working on getting back in shape, I selfishly decided that instead of trying, I was just going to sit in the stands during the games. I decided that because of my size, I couldn’t do a backflip. Even though my stunt partner, Emily Canon, and I were progressively getting better, we were not able to showcase our new stunts because I was not cheering at games. I sat in the stands, stubborn, and not willing to accept, believe, or work toward achieving a backflip. I was a selfish, sad hippo.

Emily was a little too patient with me in the beginning. Here she was working her tail off so that she could improve, and her partner, the one she needed to throw her, had decided that he just wasn’t really feeling like doing back flips. It was Emily’s first year and she had so much enthusiasm for cheerleading. Eventually Emily opened up to me about how hard it was to not be able to cheer at any of the games… My decision to limit myself was having a negative effect on my own stunt partner! While it wasn’t an easy conversation to have, I left knowing what I needed to do. I was going to be a backflipping hippo. 

It didn’t take long for me to put in the practice, lose a couple pounds, and get my mind right. Even though I didn’t have the body type of a gymnast, I was going to flip. Not only did I make my stunt partner happy, I was able to get my own section of courtside cheerleaders for the back flips. A little background here. At BYU, every time there is a Cougar free throw shot, the cheerleaders would line up on the opposite end of the court. If the ball went in the hoop, we would shout “WHOOSH,” drop our arms, and do a backflip. If the ball didn’t go in, you'd just clap and walk off. The worst was when the game was tight and the opposing team would foul every chance they got to stop the clock. Man, my knees would hurt. Going back to my courtside cheerleader group, there were several people that wouldn’t even look at the Cougar basketball player for the free throw. They would just look at me and pray that I somehow made it all the way around. You could see them wincing from their seats as I got prepped to do a back tuck. Even though I was scared out of my mind every time, I still did the tuck. My motto was “Back flip of FAITH!” On one occasion, while on the Jumbotron in the Marriott Center for thousands to see, as a converted Mormon from Catholicism, I crossed myself before the tuck… that didn’t go over too well... The point here is, I was scared out of my mind. Even though I was doing the actions, I hadn’t changed my identity from the heavy hippo, nor had I fully believed I could land it the back flip every time. 

It wasn’t long after that I met my now wife, Kaija, who showed me that you don’t need to BE the biggest to lift the biggest. At 5’3 and a whopping 130 pounds, this woman could clean and jerk just about as much as me, and snatch well over what I could. She saw through my bro lifter mentality and called it out for what it was. COMPLETE NONSENSE! Kaija helped me realize that strength isn’t so much about size (especially when it's a lot of chub) as it is power. As I started to hang out with her, I started to accept that one could still be in shape and still lift heavy weights! I started to go to CrossFit Lehi, where she would teach barbell classes. She helped me see that true athleticism wasn’t about being BIG, but being quick and powerful. I started to think healthier, and in turn, act healthier. Instead of driving my car, I’d walk. Instead of eating all of my food BYU gave me at the Fuel Center, I’d space it out throughout the day. Also truly influential in my transformation was Rachel Higgins, the nutrition specialist for BYU athletics. She taught me about mindfulness, tracking eating, and choosing healthy options. After having been influenced by my Kaija, Rachel Higgins, I started to make small lifestyle changes that led to better health and happiness. After the course of 5 months I had slimmed out some 20 pounds, I had more energy, my knees didn’t hurt constantly. I was doing back flips with confidence and I no longer wished that my own team missed a free throw. I was excited to do back tucks. What had happened was I changed my identity (the way I saw myself) and started to act in accordance to what “a healthy person would do.”

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, calls this setting identity based habits. Instead of focusing on the result, focus on who you wish to become. He says, “Many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads to outcome-based habits. The alternative way is to build identity-based habits. With this approach, we start by focusing on who we wish to become.” Even when I had decided to do my back tucks, I still hadn’t decided to change my identity until I started to believe that I could be somebody else other than the 247 pound lifting bro. Nothing truly changed until my identity and belief could change. 

So what does all this have to do with a Marathon? Everything! This era of my life helped me realize that I don’t have to be stuck to a mold my entire life. If I want to try something new, I can! If I want to be something else, I can. Even though I hadn’t slimmed out entirely, I knew that I could do whatever I wanted to do. I wanted to start doing CrossFit, and I did. I wanted to start running for exercise, and I did! And secretly, even though I thought those marathon runners were freaks, I always wanted one of those freaking stickers on the back of my car. I really wanted to run a marathon, but still didn't think that was within my grasp. 

As a man, marrying a university level world champion weightlifter really puts you in an interesting position. Most men are able to lift more than their wives… then there are guys like me who marry freakishly strong women. Myself, like many other men who have married female weightlifters have reached the point where we have accepted that their woman will simply just be able to clean, jerk and snatch more. While I fully intend to hit Kaija’s numbers at one point in my life, there was a moment in our marriage where I got really set on endurance sports. I’d run every morning, go for swims, or do CrossFit AMRAPS. I wasn’t really into the whole heavy lifting scene any more. I was surprised by all the new activities I could do while living a healthy lifestyle and found a passion for seeing how hard I could push myself on a run or in a swim. To this day I joke with Kaija about how she married a future endurance athlete! 

While we were on vacation in Arizona last April, I remember finishing up my BYU classes online and feeling completely cooped up in the house. Before school shut down we had a guest speaker come into my Exercise Physiology class. Jared Ward, BYU stats professor and 2016 Olympian for the Marathon. I sat in my chair anxiously as he told his story and the grueling details of a marathon. This guy was an Olympian and he came into our class to share the psychology and mindset behind the marathon. In the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Olympic games he finished 6th overall and achieved a personal best of 2:11:30. To read more about Jared, click here. The statistical, physiological, nutritional, and mental aspect of running started to really make me curious. I wanted to run one of these Marathons! At the time, even the thought of running a half marathon blew my mind, so I left the class with just a little bit of curiosity. “Maybe one day I’ll do a half-marathon,” I told myself. 

As I wrapped up my exercise physiology final early one morning in Arizona and antsy about being in the house for most of the week, I decided I was going to run a half marathon. My plan was as follows:

1. Find a Rubio's Coastal Grill 13.1 miles away.

2. Order a burrito online for pick up 3 hours from start time.

3. Run to my California Burrito.

4. Eat burrito

5. Have somebody pick me up from Rubio’s

Done. It was easy. I ran over to tell my wife my master plan and she looked at me like I was crazy. “Austin, it's midday in Arizona and almost 90 degrees outside!” I shrugged and showed her the burrito I have already ordered and told her to expect a call later that afternoon. I was going to need a ride back home. After trying to convince me that I was insane, Kaija decided she would just track my location in case I ended up passed out or dead on the side of the road. You see, what Kaija didn’t understand was the more she tried to tell me how crazy I was, the more I wanted to do it. I was very determined to pick up my burrito I had just paid 10 bucks for and set out on my run listening to David Goggins’, “Can’t Hurt Me.” For the first 5 miles my shin splints were killing me and I thought to myself, “Dude, how stupid can you get… you have to do this now. No going back now.” Luckily, the Ibuprofen I popped down numbed the shin pain and I was able to continue. The sun beat down on me relentlessly, and I was able to purchase some Gatorade to refuel along the way. By mile 10 the only thing keeping me going was the sound of David Goggins screaming in my ear and the thought of devouring a Rubio’s California Burrito. After 2 hours and 41 minutes, I waddled into Rubio’s and inhaled my burrito. That burrito tasted heavenly, but what felt even better was that I had done something difficult. My hips were so tight I couldn’t walk, but man it felt good to do something I never thought I could do.

Now how did the marathon happen? Previous to flying out to Utah for winter break, Anthem sales had James Lawrence talk to our sales team via Zoom. This guy completed 50 iron man runs, in 50 days, in ALL 50 states! I couldn’t help but get fired up as I listened to this guy challenge us to set goals that scare the hell out of us, and then reverse engineer them. After hearing him speak I was determined to do a Marathon “one day.”

During our trip in Utah, I continued to post content on my Happiness Hackz Instagram page. Most mornings I just think of a topic, choose a cool quote, create a graphic and post it. Well this particular day I decided to post about the “one day” mentality. The quote I chose was “Day one or one day? You decide.” What followed later that evening had to have been influenced by the way I started off my morning because during dinner I started talking about the Anthem Transform Challenge. One of the events was a marathon. If you completed the distance of 26.2 miles in under 6 hours, you’d win a lululemon shirt and short pack. I looked over at my wife and said, “Now, 6 hours… I could do that! That's just a 13 minute mile pace!” Kaija looked at me and just said, “do it.” Now, I don’t know if she was just trying to learn her lesson from trying to dissuade me from running the half marathon, but even if she was trying to, I simply said, “Ok!” Now you are going to see a theme here. I get antsy on vacation and do crazy stuff. My half marathon impulse decision happened while I was on vacation and I ran to a burrito joint exactly 13.1 miles away. My marathon impulse decision happened while I was on vacation and I ran to a burrito joint exactly 26.2 miles away. My plan for this challenge was pretty much the same as the first too: 

1. Find a Café Rio 26.2 Miles away

2. Run to Café Rio

3. Eat Salad. (These things are loaded)

4. Have somebody pick me up from Café Rio

The only difference this time was that the half was in the blazing sun of Arizona on April 3rd, and the marathon was on December 30th in the freezing cold of Utah. I also knew that this run was going to be an entirely different beast… so I needed help. When you do something difficult in life, you need accountability partners and I was going to need a buddy for this run. I reached out to my Anthem sales team on Groupme and reached out to anybody that wanted to run with me. Within one hour, Cameron Skousen reached out and signed up. I had never met this guy, but I was so blessed to have him by my side for this run. In preparation for our marathon, Cameron went over to Mitch Mathews’ house to pick up some Redefine Hard tank tops and some Built Energy squeezes. I went online to Amazon, purchased a pack of 26.2 stickers, you know, the ones those freaks have on their cars, and publicly announced our incredible feat on December 28th. The couple days leading up to the run I was filled with excitement. I was going to run a freaking MARATHON! There wasn’t a single doubt in my mind. I was going to be one of those freaks who had a 26.2 sticker on the back of their car. More importantly, I was going to do something I’ve always secretly wanted to do! All I had to do was pick a day and DO IT! 

The excitement stayed strong until the night before. I went out to Kroger to purchase some last couple items I’d need for the run and little doubts started to slip into my mind. 

What are you thinking? 

Do you really think your body will be able to hold itself together?

You haven’t trained for this.

Your shins are going to break!

But I had to silence these thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. 

I can do hard things.

My body can do unimaginable tasks.

I am in tip top physical shape.

My shins feel great. 

I came home and packed up my 15 pound backpack with ample water and snacks, prepped for the morning, and went to bed. I slept terribly. You know how you feel as a kid when you try to go to bed on Christmas Eve? You wake up constantly because you are so anxious about Santa Claus? Well, this was me that night. Except I was getting a Marathon for Christmas this year! The mix of excitement and nervousness had me waking up to check the clock every couple hours. 

I woke up and it hit me like a brick wall. WHAT was I doing?! It was 4 degrees outside and I was about to run a marathon with no training. Having Cameron to run with, having announced my goal to the world, and having bought the stickers already, I knew I needed to follow through with my goal. You see, I purposefully did all of those things, because I knew that after all the butterflies faded I was going to be awake at 6am wondering what I had gotten myself into. When excitement and motivation is high, you don’t need any “safeguards” to keep you in check. You just naturally get it done. However, what will you do when motivation fades away? We always start highly motivated in the beginning, but after things get difficult, you must be able to fall back on systems and principles that keep you going. For me, staying accountable to my running partner, following through with my announcement on Happiness Hackz, and my simple 26.2 sticker were enough to keep me in check. Overarching all of this was my desire to simply do something hard. It wasn’t about the free LuluLemon or the sticker. It was about accomplishing something that I had never dreamt of doing.

After eating a light breakfast, I woke up and told her it was game time! Half asleep, she rolled out of bed and we drove to pick up Cameron. Cameron got into our car bundled up and ready to go. Beanie. Face mask. Camel back full of water. And we both were dressed in warm clothing. I had layered on sweats, a long sleeve shirt, and a warm cotton hoodie. We were going to need it! Kaija dropped us off at the top of Eagle Mountain at 7am. As we got out of the car, we were hit by the extreme cold. With the temperature at 4 degrees, you could feel the bitter cold air freezing your wind pipe with every breath. We posed for a picture as Kaija snapped a quick shot before we got on the road, we took off!

It was FREEZING. Literally. Within the first 8 miles of the run, both of our head phones had frozen. Shortly, after Cameron’s headphones died, I pulled my beanie off to find that my sweat had frozen around my MP3 player and was now a chunk of ice. Now my MP3 only speaks in Chinese. No idea how that happened, but at least they still work. I also discovered that my beanie had an icicle hanging from the front of it. When we stopped for a water break, Cameron tried to sip from his Camel back only to find that the tube had been frozen shut. I think you get the picture now. Conditions were not ideal. And the lesson here is that conditions will never be ideal… but you still figure it out anyway! Luckily I had tons of water in my giant BYU backpack and had plenty of water for Cameron. With the build I have, running this marathon with a bulky cotton hoodie, and carrying a heavy backpack, I felt more like a stock horse than a nimble runner. While I was significantly slower than Cameron, I felt I still did a decent job at being consistent. What y’all need to know is that Cameron COULD have left me in the dust during this run. On one occasion, after Cameron waited for me to catch up, I huffed and puffed my way to him and apologized for my speed. He looked at me and said, “Dude, I’m here to run the Marathon together with you. This isn’t a race!” Find friends like Cameron. I’m so glad that I did.

At the halfway mark, we were coming in at 2 hours and 10 minutes! My previous half marathon in Arizona had taken 2 hours and 41 minutes! We were smokin! We had already done half the work, and all we had to do was keep lifting those legs up. The thing about running a marathon is that it gets repetitive… Left, right, left, right, left right! That’s what it came down to in the end. One of the benefits in running in below freezing temperatures is that your joints are completely frozen numb so my knees felt GREAT! Running in the cold actually had its advantages.

We just kept trudging along and around mile 15 my body started to feel like cement. I was still hauling at the speed of a workhorse, but the mental game started to become a major aspect. As we were making our way towards Geneva, we were surprised to hear a car honk at us and saw a Tesla pulling up next to us. The window rolled down and Mitch Mathews had shown up to run with us for 30 minutes!

Before I go into the amazing advice that he gave us, let me just first say that we were so grateful to have him with us. Mitch is a busy guy. He’s got a wife and a newborn baby. He’s training multiple times a day with the Iron Cowboy for an Iron Man. AND he runs two businesses on top of all that. He happens to be the president of Anthem Pest control, so the fact that he took time out of his day to run with us sales reps meant the world. When he showed up, it was as if our bodies were instantly invigorated with the energy he brought. If you are reading this, thank you Mitch! 

The advice he gave us was applicable for so much more than the running world. As he coached us on the 2 mile stretch he ran with us, he taught us valuable lessons that I will never forget. I will share with you some of that today.

1. It's only hard in the moment. After it's over, it won’t be difficult. It will be over and you will feel so good once you have accomplished your goal. You must go through time though, don’t let it go through you!

2. In order to accomplish big goals during the summer sales season you have to accomplish physical goals during the offseason. Doing hard things beforehand will not only boost your confidence, but give you something to look back on when it gets difficult. If you can run a marathon, you can do anything you set your mind to!

3. Keep telling yourself, “THIS IS EASY!” even when it's the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Every step of the way, “This is easy!” Every door during the summer, “This is EASY!” Living life like this will have a dramatic impact on your attitude and causes a snowball effect of positive results and thoughts!

4. AND LAST. A lesson that wasn’t spoken but shown: When people go out to do something difficult, support them! The next day my wife noticed that Mitch was in Saint George, UT, 4 hours away. He had a large trip ahead of him and he STILL took time to support two of his sales reps. He ran with us, and then ran back to where we had parked his car. I am grateful to have Mitch as a leader and mentor in my life.

Mitch cheered us on and gave us one last push before he sent us off to finish what we set out to do. With 8 miles left our bodies were starting to get tight, we Instead of thinking of the remaining distance as a whole, we mentally broke it up into chunks. We’d pick a landmark or cross road and tell ourselves, “Ok, we just have got to make it to that bridge and we can walk 30 yards and get a sip of water.” One of those landmarks was a Maverik gas station a mile and a half down the road because we both had to GO. I won’t go into too many details, but I will say that with all that churning of the stomach, the “runners trots” became an all to real experience. I swear, when I saw that Maverik gas station appear in the distance, I don’t know if there was a more overwhelming feeling of relief… better said, the hope of relief. I barely made it. I’ll stop right here with the “runners trots” advice, just be aware of this and plan accordingly. 

Cameron and I had exhausted all of our water supply by the time we made it to Maverick and refueled on some Built energy gels and Body Armour. We were sitting at 20 miles with the last 6 miles entirely uphill… it was going to be a long haul. We sat and took a moment to recover and I was surprised to hear my wife’s voice behind me! Kaija and her entire family had been tracking my location and intercepted us at the gas station to cheer us on and fuel us with warm Perk energy latte flavored drinks. The warm sips melted my frozen throat and left it feeling rejuvenated. More than the physical support from the goods she brought was the physiological support I got from seeing my wife at mile 20. It is said that the last 6 miles are when the monkey jumps on your back, so to have her show up was an instant shot of enthusiasm to my body and mind.

While having Kaija show up was a major energy booster, what helped even more was having Cameron’s dad, Mike, and his dog run the last 6 miles with us. To be 100 percent honest, Mike and his dog dragged us to the finish line. By the time we started the ascent on University Parkway, Cameron and I were zombies and wouldn’t have made it without Mike shouting at us to keep the pace and stay with the pack. As an experienced marathoner, Mike was such a freaking beast and helped Cameron and I finish strong. He kept reminding us how good we would feel if we powered through the last 6 miles. It was symbolic that the last 6 miles were the hardest. I got to thinking about how important it is to finish strong in everything we set out to do in life. Whatever you start in life, put your heart and soul into it until the very end. Start strong and finish strong. There is no better feeling than knowing that you put it all on the line and did your best. 

 When we reached the top of the uphill portion we felt as though we were on the victory lap. It was all downhill from here. We had almost done it. The feeling of running down that stretch with Mike, Cam, and their dog felt so rewarding. We had set out to do something HARD, and we had almost achieved it. When we saw the Cafe Rio in the distance, all I could think about was sitting down pounding down a delicious double chicken salad.

But there was one problem! After all the running we had done, my Under Armour Running app still hadn’t shown 26.2 miles! We had to run several laps around the parking lot before it finally showed the full distance of the marathon and boy did it feel amazing when we finished. I have never had a better tasting meal in my entire life. Kaija showed up to support me and eat lunch with me and picked me up just like we had planned. My wife picked up Epson salt and Pedialyte for recovery and electrolyte replenishing and took me home so I could go to bed. I have the best bride in the word. 

The first thing I did when we got home was grab that 26.2 sticker and slap it on my water bottle. I was officially one of the freaks! For those of you wondering, I was pleasantly surprised on how I was still able to move my body the night of, however, the next day I couldn’t get out of bed without having to lift my legs out of bed with my arms. The pain was worth it though. Cameron and I ran a marathon in 5 hours, 4 minutes and 34 seconds with NO TRAINING... There's a couple of lessons to learn from this experience and the previous stories I’ve shared with you today. 

1. SUPPORT SYSTEMS: Yes, it takes grit to run the distance, but if I didn’t have Cameron, I can’t say I would have been able to run it as fast as I did. He helped me keep a pace I couldn’t have held without him. Additionally, I couldn’t imagine what the marathon would have been like without the overwhelming support of our friends and family. Mitch Mathews, my wife and her family, Cameron’s family. All of them had a significant part in Cameron’s and my marathon. Find yourself a support system that will hold you accountable to what you set out to do. Find people that cheer you on and want to see you succeed. Keep them close to you. They may holler at you to pick up the pace, but they do it because they want you to succeed.

2. IDENTITY: When I was a cheerleader at BYU, I would have never thought that running a marathon was within my abilities. I myself had completely capped my growth. Deciding to take a leap of faith, literally, I started doing the particular behavior to tuck, but until I decided that doing a back tuck was easy, it was a painful experience. I learned from this experience that what we tell ourselves becomes our reality. For my half and full marathon, I simply told myself that I could and was going to do it. That didn't take away the fear, but it did help me dig deep and push myself to do something that I wanted to do. You know that one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t out of fear or self limitations? Decided today that YOU are the type of person that does that thing… and DO IT! 

3. FINISH STRONG: I was beat at the end of that Marathon. I wanted to walk, but deep down I knew that this was more than a marathon. The way I finished this run would be the same way I finished anything else in my life. I left everything out on the pavement and man, it felt good. Are you feeling exhausted right now in your current job, fitness, faith, project, or relationship? Put everything you have into it, everyday, and not only will you FEEL better, you will see exponential results from doing so.

I'm sure I could go on and on about the symbolic lessons you can learn from my stories today. You may have learned or felt something else. Whatever that is, I encourage you to believe in yourself, set a goal, tell the whole world, find a support system, and conquer. I promise you that if you do these things, you can go from being the most unlikely to do something, to a conqueror! It all starts with your mentality and your willingness to act! 

If this has brought any value to your life, I ask that you share it with a friend or family member. Let's work together to have a positive impact on as many people as we can! Have a wonderful week and keep on working towards your goals and dreams!

"Self Help" is Jesus Christ Secularized

Christmas is finally here. People are scrambling to get that last minute gift purchased and wrapped. Airplanes soar across the country as people go to visit family. Christmas dinner is already becoming a stressor for the cooks! And kids on a sugar high run rampant around the house, excited for Santa to arrive. With all the commotion that comes with the Holidays, I try to recall the phrase, “Jesus is the reason for the season.” Christmas commemorates the birth of the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ. What an amazing time of the year. Just saying the word “Christmas” evokes Christ’s name and people act differently because of it. The spirit of God can be felt a little bit more during these times of the year. People remember what is truly important and try to be a little bit more compassionate, understanding, and caring. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. 

Now, if you know me, you'll understand that it is impossible for me to preach “self-help” without preaching Jesus. The more and I’ve studied the gospel and the guidance of our church leaders, the more parallels I’ve recognized between “self-help” and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. After finding multiple examples of parallels from my self help library, I have concluded that the self help industry is simply the Gospel of Jesus Christ secularized. Take out the eternal perspective of our divine destiny as sons and daughters of God, and replace that with “your connection to the universe,” throw some swear words in there to appeal to your audience, and BAM, you’ve got a Bestselling self help book. Now, in no way am I bashing on these books, I'm just calling it for what it is. The foundational principles found in any self help book can be dated much further back to the Bible and the Book of Mormon. There may not be entire sermons on certain principles, but nonetheless, the principles and truths originated from God, our Heavenly Father.

Twice a year, every October and April, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints holds a televised conference in which church leaders speak directly to members. After each General Conference weekend, members of the Church enthusiastically resolve to make changes in their lives. You’d think we all had just finished a motivational speaking event. That's when it hit me. As President Nelson, the president of our church and Prophet, spoke about living intentionally I realized that even in all these self help books, the truths found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ are what motivates people to change. As a salesman, my library is loaded with wise words from self help gurus that preach living intentionally. I’ve got books from former Navy seals like David Goggins and Jocko Willink who share grueling stories of perseverance, trials, and hard learned lessons. Their messages support Doctrine and Covenants when the Lord teaches how even the worst of trials “shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good” (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7).  One of my favorite reads, Atomic Habits, by James Clear, emphasizes the supreme importance of small habits that compound over time into remarkable results. The Book of Mormon teaches us that “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). Dale Carnegies “How to Win Friends and Influence People” teaches how we should treat one another. Carnegie quotes Jesus Christ multiple times throughout the course of his timeless book. I could go on for pages and pages uncovering the Gospel roots of self help books, but that is not the purpose of today’s blog.

The purpose of this blog is to spotlight the One who allows us to change. Jesus Christ. Knowing I’m a bookworm, I’ve had several friends reach out to me asking, “You know man, I'm having a hard time. What books would you recommend I read?” On certain occasions I’ve given specific recommendations, but I believe that the ultimate expert on happiness is our Savior, Jesus Christ. If we follow him, we can be happy in this life and in the life to come. 

The Savior of the world was born into the most humble of circumstances. We see nativity scenes and the peaceful stable. Baby Jesus oftentimes is swaddled in clean linens… There are even sheep bahh-ing quietly beside them. Most nativity scenes portray a graceful birth... Now, me and you both know that it did NOT go this way. Childbirth is painful, loud and unpleasant. I highly doubt that the true nativity scene was as cozy as we have painted it out to be. Mary and Joseph searched for an Inn Christ was born into the world under very harsh circumstances. We oughta remember that when we ponder about just how much he went through to save mankind. 

Jesus lived a perfect life. He showed us the way. He suffered, bled, and died for all mankind. On the third day after his burial, he was not to be found in the tomb. He was resurrected. He lives! Because he overcame death and sin, so can you. You have the opportunity to change. If you are sad, you can find happiness through him. If you are sick, you can find health. If you are burdened down with life's struggles, you can find strength in him. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of love, perseverance, determination, and sacrifice. Even when he didn’t have to die for you and me, he still followed through with the plan His father sent Him here for. He was born when Christ performed what is called the Atonement.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ includes his suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, his crucifixion, death, and resurrection. Through this miracle we call the Atonement, Christ allowed me and you to overcome spiritual and physical death. In the Garden of Gethsemane he took upon himself all the pains, afflictions, sickness, failures and heartaches that all mankind would ever experience. Amidst it all he cried out to His father: “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine be done” (Luke 22:42). The pain was so great that his sweat was “as great drops of blood.” After he took upon himself all the sins of mankind, by himself, he was betrayed by one of his own disciples for 30 pieces of silver. The Roman governor Pontius Pilate took him into prison. When the Jews had the option of releasing Barabbas or Jesus on the day of Passover, the people chose Barabbas. Barabbas, a murderer and bandit, was freed. Jesus, the Savior of the world, was hung on a cross. Jesus died on that cross for you, me and even Barabbas. He died for all mankind and would have died for JUST you if you were the only one that lived. 

The reason I bring up all of what Jesus went through was because he didn’t HAVE to go through with it. At any point in his ministry, he could have decided that the persecution was too great and that it’d be better off just living the calm, non controversial life of a humble carpenter. But he didn’t do that. He died on the cross because of his love for you. Now, I know we always glorify individuals who go through excruciating and grueling circumstances and overcome them. If you were to ask most people who the toughest men in the world were, their first responses would be something like James Lawrence, David Goggins, and with reason. James Lawrence was the first and only person to run 50 consecutive Iron Man races in 50 days in 50 different states. Yes. You read that right. And on March 1st, he will start the journey to accomplish 100 consecutive Iron Mans in 100 days. David Goggins went from being a 300 pound utter disaster to Navy Seal and Ultramarathon Runner. Both of these men have embarked upon unfathomable tasks and came out victorious. We can draw strength from these mortal men because as we see them overcome their OWN obstacles. Seeing them overcome their own impossible helps us believe WE can overcome OUR impossible. But how often do we draw strength from the Savior of the World who overcame sin and death. 

Now, if you think I’m being blasphemous for saying, “Jesus overcame hard things, therefore I can too,” you've got me entirely wrong. We are nothing without Jesus. What I am saying though is that our strength is in HIM. Philippians 4:13 reads, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Read that again. YOU can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST. If we are able to draw strength from mortal men who accomplish incredible feats, how much MORE strength can we draw from the One who overcame death? The answer isn’t even fathomable. Jesus Christ has already overcome every physical, mental, and spiritual trail that has man has and will ever experience. Because he is victorious over all, and because he is our Savior, our strength is in Him. 

So ask yourself, “In who/what do I put my faith in?” Is your faith rooted in a person? A celebrity? Yourself? Is your faith rooted into anything at all? Wherever your faith is today, I invite you to put your faith in the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, who is victorious over all. He loves you and is watching out for you. He is the author of all happiness and joy. If you are ever struggling in your career, studies, marriage, health, or anything else, HE is the one who you can find peace and comfort in. His teachings are not “self” help, rather they are finding strength in He who is mighty to save! If you want to become closer to Christ, I recommend reading his word! The Bible, The Book of Mormon, and any other words from his chosen disciples. Remember that God loves you. He sent his son, Jesus Christ to die for you. He overcame death and sin and because he did, so can you. In my book, following Jesus Christ is the ultimate Happiness Hack I know. Christ is the reason why I wake up every day full of energy, and when people ask me how I’m doing, I can emphatically say that I’m “living the dream!” While my sole purpose of this blog is not to preach about Christ, If you have any questions please reach out to me and I’d be happy to answer them! Have a wonderful week and stay tuned for my next blog!

"The Picture Perfect Proposal"

I'm sure that when you saw this picture, you knew exactly what was going on. Me down on one knee. Engagement ring in hand. Kaija covering her mouth in excitement. The beautiful sunset behind us. Yes, this was my proposal to Kaija, and by looking at the picture, you’d think it was PERFECT! But what if I told you that this was my second attempt at asking Kaija to marry me? On September 8th, 2019 Kaija said “yes.” But two days prior, I got down on one knee only to have Kaija frantically repeat, “Stand up, Stand up!” After standing up, I turned around and saw a tow truck pulling up to tow our car. If you thought that was bad, just wait! There's more! Today I am going to tell you the story of my proposals, attempts 1 and 2, and the lessons I learned. Buckle up for an epic fail story that will have you wondering, “How did he suck that bad?”

When I was ready to propose to Kaija, I started asking around for advice. I knew that you had to get down on a knee, flip out a ring, and say, “Will you marry me?” Pretty simple right? I called both of my uncles, Uncle Todd and Uncle Mark, and both of them gave me very different advice. When I talked to Todd, he congratulated me and explained to me that it doesn't always go perfectly, you just have to stay calm. Todd asked me my plan and said it was normal to be a little nervous. His proposal hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but it all worked out in the end. It was a reassuring phone call that left me confident that no matter what went wrong, as long as I stayed calm, it would all work out. Stay calm was the overarching theme with Todd.

Then I called Uncle Mark. He is a straight forward, to the point kinda guy. I told him that I was going to propose, and asked him for advice to which he responded, “Don’t suck!” He wasn’t really concerned about my plan as he was about the “don’t suck” part. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter how I did it, as long as I didn’t suck! Surely I wasn’t going to SUCK at asking the most important question of my life! After talking to Todd and Mark, I concluded that asking Kaija to marry me was going to be simple. Stay calm and don't suck!

Calling Eric and Cara, my father and mother in law, was the next step. When I called Eric, he and Cara both answered and I explained my game plan. At this point in time, Eric, Cara, Kaija and I had already gone on several trips to support Kaija in her weightlifting. Not only did I know that I was in love with Kaija, I also loved her family. When I explained to Eric and Cara my intentions, and asked for his blessing, the phone went quiet… Eric eventually responded. “Hmm.... Let me think about it.” Then Cara and Eric busted up laughing and said, “Just kidding, yes!” Hopefully this gives you an idea of how fun my in-laws are. I was so grateful for their support and was ready to do this thing!

After planning with my sister in law, Asha Skousen, I had everything ready for the proposal. Flowers. A blanket to lay rose petals on. Martinelli's sparkling cider, two champagne glasses, and a wine chiller! I even hinted to Kaija that she oughta get her nails done. Asha and I had picked out a location on the edge of Utah Lake. The Wasatch front in the background made for the perfect picture. The plan was to meet up together to get everything set up. Asha would hide in the brush nearby and snap a picture the moment I popped the question. There was no way this could go wrong.

The big day had finally arrived. Friday, September 6th, 2019. I called Kaija early that morning and told her to get dressed up cute for a date night. Instead of taking her out, I was going to drive her to the spot at Utah lake and propose. During cheerleading practice and my classes, I anxiously awaited the big night. As soon as I was done at BYU, I jumped into my car and started driving to Eagle Mountain, where I would meet up with Asha and get everything prepared. I knew that Kaija was going to finish training around 6pm so I planned to show up in Eagle Mountain, UT around 5pm. As I exited I-15, I got a phone call from Kaija… it was strange. She should have still been training. After Kaija asked what I was up to, I explained that I was finishing up some homework in Provo and that I’d be by her Grandma’s place later that night to pick her up. Much to my surprise, let me know that she had finished training early. Realizing that I was just 2 minutes away from her gym, I hit the gas so I could beat her to her Grandma’s house, where I had left the flowers I intended to use for the proposal. I pulled up to a red light only to see Kaija pull up directly behind me in her Toyota Rav 4! I sunk into my chair so she could see me, but it was already too late. She knew that I was up to something!

I lost her at a red light, buying me enough time to beat her to her Grandma’s place and get the flowers. Parking far enough away from the house, I made sure she couldn’t see my car, and I sprinted towards the house. RIGHT as I was crossing the street, Kaija turned the corner and saw me bolting towards her grandma's house. My secret plan was unraveling! I ran inside quickly to explain to Grandma Wendy what was going on and how I needed her to tell Kaija that she hadn’t seen me if she were to ask. Grandma Wendy had me hide in her bedroom. Kaija came in wondering what was going on and Wendy accomplished the mission when Kaija asked. “No, I haven't seen Austin at all.” As soon as Kaija went down stairs, Wendy came rushing into the room and anxiously pushed me along so I could get on with the plan. To this day Kaija and I still laugh about how I made her sweet grandmother lie about seeing me. When Kaija called me demanding a response for who she saw sprinting into the house, I told her it was probably her grandpa grabbing the mail… something we both knew was unlikely! 

At this point in time, I knew that I had made some mistakes, but in no way did I think that the proposal was a complete failure... But it got WORSE! I quickly jumped into my car and started driving to our prime location on Utah Lake that Asha had scouted out for me. Shortly before arriving, I received a phone call from Asha. She dreadfully broke the news that somebody ELSE had the exact same idea to use the location for a wedding! The entire area was set up for the ceremony and we were left with the swamp lands surrounding this perfect location. Nonetheless, I met up with her to see what we could scavenge… much to our dismay, after 20 minutes of shouting out a feasible location, all we found was muddy swamp land and trash scattered on the outskirts. With our hands full of proposal gear, camera equipment and Asha’s 2 years old son Atlas, we retreated back to the minivan to reevaluate. Part of me knew it’d be better to just wait for another day, BUT I had the fantastic idea to have Asha find a spot while I went to pick up Kaija. Asha would set everything up, and drop me a pin of the location. It was a decent plan B. We parted ways and I went to pick up my future fiancé! 

I arrived 30 minutes late and Kaija was wondering what the heck was going on! I quite frankly had no idea as I drove aimlessly awaiting a pin from Asha, I told her, “I have something planned… I just don’t know where yet.” Yeh, remember that advice my Uncle Mark told me? Don’t suck? Well if you think I messed up NOW, get ready because it is only getting worse! 😂

I aimlessly drove towards the city of Lehi, hoping Asha had set up my proposal scene. I even pulled into the parking lot of Zaxbys and asked if Kaija wanted to eat chicken! With the sun going down, and Kaija wondering what the heck was going on, I started to worry. I finally got a message from Asha that said we needed to bail and plan something for another day. Although I knew in my heart that this was the best option, I also was so anxious to just ask the freaking question and get it over with. The ring was practically burning a hole in my jeans! With Kaija in the shotgun seat of my Honda CRV, completely confused, I made an executive decision and pulled into the Texas Roadhouse parking lot. We were just going to go to a fancy dinner and I would drop her off later to live to propose another day. The only problem was that Kaija would not stop asking me for an explanation for all the madness. After persistently asking I eventually folded and told her, “Look, I was going to propose, but everything went wrong. You caught me on my way up to Eagle Mountain. The location I wanted was taken, and it has been a disaster. I even have your ring in my pocket! Is that a good enough explanation?” I felt like a complete loser. 

Anxiousness deflated into a cacophony of disappointment and relief. Disappointment because the proposal didn't happen, but relieved because there was finally an explanation. My entire plan had gone wrong and I had broken my Uncle Mark’s simple advice. Don’t suck! We sat at dinner and split a delicious medium rare steak and had our fair share of buttered rolls. Those cinnamon buttered rolls and medium rare steaks were no doubt the highlight of the night, but we both couldn't help to feel a little bummed out from what had happened with the proposal. Imagine finding out there was a surprise party planned for you, but later found out it fell through and that it was going to be “rescheduled.” That's sort of how it all felt. In my mind, the element of surprise was gone for any future proposal attempt.

After stuffing our faces with cinnamon buttered rolls, we wrapped up dinner, paid the tab, and got in the car to head home. That’s when I had an epiphany! What if I played romantic music, drove BACK to the original spot, and proposed to her before dropping her back off! YES! It was a perfect plan. I could even give a little speech about how things won’t always be perfect in our marriage, but we would always find a way through it. NOW I was thinking! 

Instead of driving Kaija to her grandma's house, we drove up to the lake as Ed Sheeran belted the song “Perfect” from my speakers. Kaija looked at me puzzled, but I reassured her that it was nothing and that I just wanted to hang out by the lake. We bought a blanket out to the dock and lied down, only to become engulfed in a swarm of mosquitoes. It was terribly uncomfortable. One even bit Kaija right underneath her eyelid as we laid there, and her eye started to swell up. Wonderful! At this point, I went ahead with my beautiful “life isn’t always perfect, but we go with it anyways” speech and told her to stand up. I reached into my pocket to remove the ring and got to one knee. 

“Kaija..I will you...”

Without giving me time to continue, and in fear that the ring would fall into the lake, Kaija screamed and cut me off.

“Austin! No, no, Stand up Stand up!”

I was completely dumbfounded. I just tried to propose and was told to stand up! Without the time to fully process what had just occurred, we were both blinded by bright lights. A TOW TRUCK had pulled into the Lake Parking lot to take away our car. I’m sure right now you are wondering if it got worse, but this is where it stops. Even if my proposal had not been interrupted by Kaija, the tow truck would have been there to put a stop to it. We ran back to the car and rescued it from the tow truck. We got into the car and Kaija flipped down the mirror to examine her swollen eye... Uncle Mark, if you are reading this, I really am sorry for letting you down. I sucked!

I dropped off Kaija feeling like a complete failure. How was I going to bounce back from THAT? There are a couple times in my life where I felt like a loser and this was one of them. Kaija tried to reassure me, but I was just down in the dumps! As I drove home, slumped in defeat, I thought about what I was going to do for attempt #2.

I won’t go into all the little details from the second time around, but I will say that it was perfect. I had everything set up the way I wanted up in the mountains (where there were no mosquitoes) and even set up a fire pit for us to sit at together afterwards. I drove up an hour early to make sure nobody had taken the spot and waited for Asha and her husband Josh to drop off Kaija. This time around I had controlled more of the variables and was confident that it would go well. And it did! After about 45 minutes of waiting in this beautiful valley, Kaija showed up and I asked her to marry me. While I knew she would say yes, I was relieved that I had put together a functional proposal and managed to have Asha take pictures. What was funny was that I had written Kaija a letter for the first proposal. At the bottom of the letter, there was a little drawing I had drafted up of me proposing to her at the Lake! Things don’t always go as planned! 

Even though this entire story was a disaster, there were a lot of special moments. Some of them are personal and some of them are more life advice.

First, Uncle Mark. Back in the day, snapping the “perfect proposal picture” wasn’t a thing, so I actually had MORE on my plate than you and Todd did! On a serious note, with my Dad no longer around, being able to call both of my Uncles for advice was very special. I personally feel that Dad would have said something right in the middle of “don’t suck” and “be calm” so the advice Todd and Mark was on point. I’m grateful I have both of them in my life to go to for things like this! I invite you to use the “keep calm and don’t suck approach.” If we stay calm in any scenario, it is unlikely that we will fail miserably like I did. So, instead of thinking about how you won't fail, think about what you’ll do to stay calm! See how it works for you! 🤣

The second little blessing is that the second attempt was MUCH better than the first would have been! Things in life don’t always go as planned. That’s ok. Go back to the chalk board and re-plan. DON’T hit the panic button I did and wing a proposal in the pitch black night, engulfed by mosquitoes! When things go wrong, take a deep breath, weigh out your options and move forward. Maybe that means redrafting the entire plan and trying another day. All I know is that I’m happy that things don’t always go as we plan. The disappointment we feel when our “plan” doesn't work out originally is eventually replaced by gratitude for how it actually happened. If I had everything my way, I can’t say my life would be as beautiful as it is today. It is my belief that God closes doors because he has better ones planned for us. In the midst of a complete disaster (like my proposal) remember that these doors are being closed so that you can experience what GOD has planned for you! 

Lastly, when something hard happens, use the 10/10/10 rule. If this isn’t going to affect you in 10 days, 10 months, or 10 years, DON’T LET IT RUIN YOUR DAY! Now, while I’m all about being disciplined in the small stuff, I also believe that one failure shouldn’t snowball into your week, months, or year. Realize that tomorrow is a new day. Yesterday does not decide how today goes, you do! Think about the things you get frustrated about. Will this matter in 10 days, 10 months, or 10 years? What are you wasting time and energy thinking about when you could just be focusing on the present?

That's all for today folks. I appreciate your time and would ask that you share with three friends or family if it has brought any value into your life. Make my disaster proposal known to the world so that more people out there know that no matter what they do, it will probably go better than mine! Although my first proposal was as smooth as I would have liked, Kaija still said yes the second time and we are happily married. So just keep calm and don’t suck! It will all work out!

"I Don't Have Time"

It’s been over a month and a half since I’ve written a blog, and today I hope to explain why. I don’t want to defend myself. I simply aim to explain my shortcomings in time management that I believe you will be able to empathize with. My hope is that by reading this, you will feel empowered to recommit to your goals and grow with me. For all of my avid readers, you know that after launching Happiness Hackz, I was fired up! I released new content on my blog every week. I got out of the gates strong… and then something strange happened, I started to believe the lie that I “had no time.” I personally don’t know why I fell for such a silly excuse. Happiness Hackz is my life project, and for a time, I decided to put it on the back burner! Before I go into the process of HOW I fell into this rut, I’d like to address some basic truth concerning time management. 

“You show me your calendar and I’ll tell you your priorities.” I think that we can all agree that if something is TRULY important to us, we will make time for it. Whatever we are spending time on at this current moment of our lives is what we most care about right now. We can talk all day about how our family and faith are the most important aspects of our lives, but if we don’t allocate our time in accordance with those things, then it’s all just talk. What we do with our time is the true indicator of what we value. If you had a personal time log for every minute of the day, what would your schedule say about what you care about?

I’ll be the first to admit that I have wasted a massive amount of time SCROLLING through nonsense on social media. While Instagram has proved to be an effective way of getting Happiness Hackz’ message of positivity out into the world, I have also found myself sucked into a wormhole of algorithmically placed content that keeps my eyes glued to the screen. On a day off from knocking doors, I could spend 3 hours mindlessly swiping at my screen. I forget what is going on around me as I am engulfed in the latest breaking news and world drama. By the time I snap back to reality, I've wasted 30 minutes of my life. Does this situation sound familiar to you? If so, I can promise you that you are not alone. Have you ever taken a minute to look at your total screen time? If not, do it now. 

How did that data make you feel? The average American spends 2 hours and 24 minutes a day on social media. Held constant for 365 days, this equates to 16 hours and 48 minutes a week, and 36 days in a year. Think about what you could be doing with all that time! And that's just the AVERAGE! I am a huge advocate for feeding your brain with positive and uplifting material. We call the reel of posts our news FEED. Thinking of it that way, what are you FEEDING your brain every day for 2+ hours? Just as I am an advocate for educating people on how to nourish their body, I would also stress the importance of nourishing your mind with positive, uplifting, content. I can’t say that the content on these platforms is always positive, so I would encourage people to rethink their time management and start allocating more time towards the things that truly matter. By the end of this blog, I hope to leave you with some recommendations to improve your time management, and empower you to break the chain to your smart device! 

Now, back to my shortcomings and resolutions to do better. I want you to keep in mind that while I was pumping out weekly blogs, I was launching Happiness Hackz, fulfilling my role as a husband (daily foot massages and breakfasts) and selling pest control door to door from 9:30am to 9pm. Amidst all of this, I still managed to produce blog content on a bi-weekly basis. It's strange that during a time where I felt I had “no time” I actually was fulfilling all of my goals. However, after the regular selling season ended, I started to relax on my goals for Happiness Hackz. I was simply not as committed and on top of my commitment to write my blog. Between my last blog and this blog, I only sat down once to write and never finished the blog. What happened? If we want to talk about the big picture, I was not holding onto my WHY, but simply put, I just didn’t PLAN and spent my time doing useless activities. It wasn’t important enough to me at the time. I was finding every excuse in the books NOT to sit down and write. One of those activities was mindlessly scrolling on my Iphone to check how many likes I had received on my posts, or to check to see if anybody had messaged me. It wasn’t until my weekly accountability phone call with Tallin Mortenson that I was asked, “Why have you not been writing your blogs?” I was put on the spot and had no excuses. I simply hadn’t made time. Tallin and I talked about the importance of sticking to a system and following through with things that are important to us and I resolved to publish a blog before this Monday evening. I still have a lot of work to do with my time management, but I’m getting back on the saddle and recommitting to publishing a bi-weekly blog. Just sitting down to write this is reawakening the excitement that I felt when I was consistently publishing blogs. I hope that they bring value and positivity into your life and ask that if they have, to please share them with friends and family. 

The reason I share this with you is because recommitting to a goal is NOT hypocritical. Until Tallin asked me straight up why I wasn’t following through with my goal, I had fallen for the lie that beacause I hadn’t stuck with my goal, I couldn’t start back up again without being an imposter. This is so wrong, and I KNOW that this has happened to all of us at some point in our life. Recommitment shows dedication. If you have to recommit in your life, guess what? This is excellent news. You are human and are striving to be better. Take a good look at where you are spending your time and what your time expenditure shows about your values. Do you value what you say you value? If not, what do you need to change about your current schedule to better align your schedule with your values? 

Here are a couple Hackz that you can implement to help you manage your time so you can start living your life intentionally. 

• Use a planner.

  • Every Sunday night, sit down to plan out the entirety of your week. Your wake up times, work times, and bedtimes. This will help you stick to schedule so you are not caught with idle hands. The Turks have a proverb which says, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Plan out your week so that you are not sucked into the smartphone wormhole.

• Put your phone away from your bed.

  • Have you ever intended to go to bed early and wake up early only to spend an hour glued to your phone at night and then fall victim to the snooze button in the morning? Avoid this trap by putting your phone in another room before going to bed. Not only will this help you fall asleep, it will also force you to wake up and GET UP when your alarm goes off. If you want to wake up early, you can not trust your will power that you have 30 seconds after waking up. Put the phone far enough away so that you can gain enough consciousness to resist the temptation to go back to bed. 

• Find an accountability partner and schedule weekly phone calls. 

  • Find somebody you can trust to hold you accountable to your weekly goals. I have two friends that I hold weekly phone calls with to update goals and ensure that both of us stay on track to accomplish our tasks. Jared Mataitusi and Tallin Mortensen are the two guys I give a weekly report to. Both are studs and inspire me to be better in not just my professional career, but in my family life, fitness, and spiritual growth. Each week, we debrief on the previous week and set goals for the upcoming week. The advice and encouragement I have received from both of these men has done nothing but make me a better disciple of Christ, husband, athlete, and salesman! Hold these weekly calls on a night that works for both parties and help each other be better in all aspects of life. Send a text message at the end of every call with the weekly goals for both parties and reflect on these resolutions at the conclusion of every week. I'm telling you, if Tallin had not called me out on my blog, I can’t say you would be reading this right now. We all need a friend to hold us accountable so we can reach our full potential. 

• Put down the phone.

  • Phones have become the “social pacifier.” When we feel uncomfortable or bored, oftentimes our first reaction is to reach for the device that gives us a false feeling of security and social acceptance. Find other activities to participate in and hone in on what you really care about. When out with friends and family, consider leaving your phone in the car. When on a date with your partner, make a fun game out of letting your phones “have quality time together” and place them to the side while you enjoy your quality time together. We were not designed to spend our lives scrolling away at a screen. Look up and you will be pleasantly surprised by how the world looks through your eyes and not a screen.

Smart phones and their cunning algorithms to capture your attention are the death of millions of dreams and relationships. Don’t fall victim to wasting your time away to virtual reality. Live in reality! I promise you that YOU HAVE TIME to get in shape, grow spiritually and professionally, and spend time with your loved ones. You just have to spend less time with Siri and more time with what is truly important. Spend time on your GOALS, not on the SCREEN! I promise you that your life will be better for it. All of us can improve in this department! Give these Hackz a shot this week and let me know how they helped you by emailing me at happinesshackz@gmail.com. I would love to hear how you are working toward improving yourself and living the life you want to live!

Make it "Count"

On Saturday September 26th, after my wife’s local weightlifting competition, I slouched alone in my Honda as my stomach fell through the car floor. I had made a mistake. A small mistake, but one that had tremendous implications. This small mistake of mine caused collateral damage. Not just to anybody, but my wife. I felt terrible... I pulled out my phone and texted my biggest mentor and role model, Jeremy Davis, and typed, “Hard lesson to learn. Feel terrible.” The gray bubble to the bottom left of my screen popped up as he responded until eventually I read, “Those are tough lessons. But the best.” Now, I’m sure that you are wondering what I could have possibly done that affected my wife so dramatically. I’ll get to that, but I wanted to preface this blog by acknowledging that this was a HARD lesson to learn. Frank Sonnenberg, author of “Soul Food: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life,” said, “Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.” I would be a fool not to analyze this scenario and learn all I could from it. After pondering on the event that transpired, I realized there are several “gold nuggets’ that I pocket, learn from, and grow from. So here’s the story of my “counting hiccup” and the lessons I learned to make it “count.”

In weightlifting, there is an aspect called “counting.” As a spectator, you would think that athletes simply step up to the bar and attempt their lift when it is their turn. However, there is a lot more that goes on behind the curtain. Behind the competition floor is a warm up room where athletes get prepped up to execute their attempts. Each athlete has three “attempts” in both snatch and clean and jerk to earn a “total”. A total is simply the addition of the two best “made lifts.” Snatch and Clean and Jerk.

The warmup process is timed out and to a science. While athletes are progressively warming up for their debut on the competition platform, each athlete has a person called a  “counter” (or their coach) that estimates how far out an athlete is from getting their name called. Their responsibility, in turn, is to dictate when their athlete needs to lift in the warm up room. As the big moment gets closer and closer, athletes lift quantities that start to flirt with the weight they will lift for the opening attempt. It is extremely important that a counter stays on top of his job. If a counter fails in estimating the opening attempt, then his athlete will be left subject to execute a lift they have not prepared for. Super simple right? No, not that easy. 

Olympic style weightlifting is a game of chess. Each athlete declares a weight they desire for their first attempt, but don’t be fooled, this number is a bluff. With each attempt, comes the opportunity to make two “changes.” For example, if I were on deck for an 80kg snatch, I could use one of my “changes'' to jump up to 83kg. This sleight of hand buys an athlete extra time, and it also catches the following competitors off guard! This process of changing weight is completed by a “counter” writing the new desired weight on their athletes official sheet and signing off underneath it. Once the signature is in ink, the “change” is locked in. Another important aspect to know is that the bars in weightlifting never drop in weight. As the bar gets heavier and heavier, the strongest athletes are all that remains. There is no going back after a weight change. You get your two changes per attempt, and that's it!

Now that you know how it all works, I’ll explain my “hiccup.” Knowing that Kaija was competing in a local meet, I worked hard during the week to rack up enough sales to take Saturday afternoon off. I arrived at her competition just 20 minutes after signing up a family for cockroach extermination services. Upon arriving, I found out that I was assigned to be Kaija’s counter. The pest control salesman was put in charge of counting… Prior to this, I took pride in loading Kaija’s warm up weights, but never had I attempted to “count attempts” and time the warm up lifts. Eric, Kaija’s dad, is usually present and takes care of strategizing. He is the best counter in the game. As he watches the TV screen to analyze the best game plan for attempt calling, he orders me to load the bar with a certain weight, and tells me when to have Kaija take her lifts.  I am the weight loader, Eric is the brains. Well now that Eric wasn’t around, I was the loader AND the brains. I felt very inadequate, yet determined to be the best loader and counter for my wife. I asked a plethora of questions to as many people as I could, attempting to learn the counting aspect of weightlifting. It's a lot more complicated than I thought, but I had gathered enough information to successfully call the shots for the snatch portion of the competition. I did everything I was supposed to do. I declared a lower starting weight, made a change to buy Kaija some extra time, and felt great about myself. I was actually getting the hang of this thing. 

Kaija finished the first portion of the meet with a 85kg snatch, which put her in an optimal position to bring home 1st place. We had a game plan for the clean and jerk portion of the meet that she had mapped out days before, and we knew exactly how she was going to bring home the gold. The plan was to declare 101kg, make a change to 104kg, and then use the last change to switch to 107kg for the opening attempt. I KNEW that Kaija was going to take it all home. I just knew it. Everything was going smoothly. When they called Kaija’s name the first time, I made the initial change to 104kg, buying her extra time to get warmed up. Meanwhile, I’m counting how many attempts out she is to tell her when to take her next warm up lift. All was going as planned until I looked at Kaija and she said, “Austin, I’m up! Go change my weight!” Now, in weightlifting, you've got a time window to make your change. If you don’t sign the paper with the new desired weight within 30 seconds of your turn, you’ve got to lift the weight on the bar. With the bar sitting at 104kg, I frantically ran to the table where I scribbled on a number and signed off in ink… I took a sigh of relief thinking that I had bought Kaija more time but, the other officials and coaches surrounding the table looked at me in disbelief. I was confused. It didn’t take me long to realize that I had written 104kg again… I had used up her second change,  it was in ink, and it was Kaija’s turn. 

I looked up at the officiator helplessly. No. No. You have to let me change this to what I ACTUALLY wanted to write. I wanted to write 107kg, not 104kg AGAIN! Please, please, don’t do this, I just am her husband coming to help out. I SELL PEST CONTROL. I’m not a counter! Please. I was literally down on my knees, as I had just finished kneeling down to sign the paper. The man in charge of the meet looked down at me and said, “She’s gotta take it. I’m sorry.” My gut twisted. I knew what I had to do. I stood up and walked to the warm up with my tail to see my wife warming up for what she thought was going to be a 107kg opening attempt a good 5 minutes out. I sheepishly approached her and said, “Hey… I made a mistake. I wrote the wrong number down and it's your turn to lift… Right now.” 

“WHAT?!” She yelled in disbelief. I told her I could explain more later, but that it was my fault and I was sorry. My inability to make a decision under pressure FORCED my wife to lift 104kg under pressure and literally on  a moment's notice. Just seconds prior, she hit a warm up lift at 95kg and now had to turn around and take 104kg -- which was a huge jump in weight for her. This wasn’t the plan we had made, and it was entirely my fault. 

Now, I’ll tell you I have never seen my wife get so fired up. She briskly walked out of that warm up room, indignantly chalked up her hands, shouted sharply in frustration and went out to dominate the 104kg. The adrenaline that was surging through her entire body made the lift look easy, but there was no question that I had thrown a wrench in the game plan. I knew that the unexpected shift in plans could take a toll on her. She marched off the competition platform and had a surprisingly positive attitude about the conundrum I had caused. “Well… now I don’t have to warm up anymore!” She did her best to remain positive and played the cards she had been dealt. Now, instead of riding slightly increases up to 112kg, we were forced to declare 108kg next and finish up with a 4kg jump to 112kg. It was still possible to win, we just had to make a change of plans.

Kaija had a substantial amount of down time to recover for her next lift at 108kg. This time, when her name was called, she was expecting it. She approached the bar and got set. The bar exploded upwards and Kaija tucked herself underneath it 237 pounds for an amazing clean. After she powerfully stood up with the weight, I watched tensely as she prepared for the jerk… BAM. Nailed it! We were still doing alright but, it all down to the last lift at 112kg. If she made it, she would bring home gold and we would laugh off my hiccup as a “close call.” If she missed it, however, I’d view my little hiccup as a big mess up. You can guess what happened here. She went out there, gave it all she had, executed the clean, but the jerk fell forward and pounded the floor. I had let my wife down.  I know my wife could have hit the lift under any other circumstance. I know it. But the completely unnecessary change in plans had completely thrown her for a loop. While there was still a possibility for victory, there’s no question that the original game plan had higher probability for success. 

Kaija and I sitting together after the meet processing what had happened.

Photo Credit: Will Breault, Barbell Stories

I am so thankful that I have a forgiving wife who didn’t come down hard on me, but as she came down hard on herself, I felt largely responsible. I took the rest of the afternoon off to be her when she received her silver medal because Kaija and I are a team. I keep that medal now as a reminder of all of the lessons I painfully learned that day. Tough lessons to learn, but as Jeremy put it, “Tough lessons. But the best.”

After meditating on that day and analyzing the lesson learned, I conjured up 4 lessons I’d remember and grow from to make it “count.” 

• Don't let emotions override logic.

  • Emotions can be used as a powerful tool to optimize performance, but left unchecked, emotions in a high stakes situation can cost you the game. Just as I had allowed my emotions of panic to control me as I scribbled 104kg onto the paper and signed it, many of us make self destructive decisions that are dictated by emotions. Craig Manning, author of “The Fearless Mind,” states, “Controlling emotions provides an individual with the ability to think rationally and reasonably, increasing the ability to learn from events and perpetuate growth; hence, emotional energy is needed to get things done. However, when there is an overabundance of emotional energy, it can cause destructive behavior as well” (Page 19). Dr. Manning continues by comparing a person's unbridled emotions to The Incredible Hulk who is “a creature who has no control over himself and basically destroys everything within his reach.” We must control our emotions, or our emotions will control us. 

  • I could have easily taken a deep breath, evaluated the situation, and made the correct weight change. Panic and fear swept through my body and I reacted emotionally, quickly forgetting the game plan! Take a deep breath, and make sure that you (not your emotions) are in the driver's seat of your mind. 

• Your perspective of trials matter:

  • After I had thrown a wrench in the game plan, Kaija went out and did what she needed to do. She played the cards she had been dealt. She wasn’t happy about it by any means, but she knew that complaining was not going to change the fact that I had signed off on the second change. After she finished the first lift, her comment about not having to warm up anymore showed that she was looking for the bright side of the situation. I admire that she was able to be positive despite having her husband mess everything up! 

  • In life, we will all have trials where all you can say is, “It is what it is.” Sometimes circumstances are completely out of our control. No matter how much complaining, self pity, or anger we show, circumstances will not change if we don’t have the ability to change them. Craig Manning said that we must, “accept what we have control over and what we don’t. Once we understand what is our responsibility and what isn’t, then we are able to channel all our energy into mastering those aspects that we have direct responsibility for and nor waste energy (emotional, mental, or physical) on those things that are not within our responsibility” (Pg 4). When Kaija was told she had to lift the 104kg clean and jerk, she didn't complain or beg them to make an exception. She channeled all of her energy into what she had control over at that very moment. Herself and the barbell. 

  • What aspects of your trails have you been wasting emotional, physical, or mental energy on? What aspects do actually control? How can you redirect your wasted energy into action by controlling the controllables? 

• Forgiveness

  • After the competition was over, I was surprised that Kaija wasn’t upset at me so much as she was at herself. She forgave me for my rookie mistake. As Kaija’s husband, I truly felt like I had let her down, but she didn’t cast any blame on me. Even though we were both disappointed, she knew that she could have hit 112kg, and so did I. There was no need to point fingers because it wouldn’t have changed the outcome. I am grateful that my wife has a forgiving heart and was able to see my efforts. We should always vere towards giving others the benefit of the doubt and forgiving. But now that Kaija forgave me, I had to forgive myself.

  • I showed up to Sweet Water Park the next Monday where I always see Coach West. I explained to him the situation and how my carelessness had caused a major obstacle. He looked at me dead in the eye, pointing at me, and said, ‘Your wife has forgiven you, God has forgiven you, now it’s time to forgive yourself!” We chatted for about 10 minutes before I left, feeling a little bit better about the hiccup. I agreed with myself that long as I learned from it, as long as I could make it count, I’d forgive myself and move forward. 

  • You must forgive yourself. Learn your lesson, make adjustments and move forward. I understand. Easier said than done, but still the truth. That week, Tallin Mortensen, a friend and thrower at BYU, messaged me asking how my wife lifted. I explained to him the mistake to which he replied, “You live and you learn, there’s never mistakes, just lessons learned!” Forgive yourself, learn your lesson and grow from it. 

• Don’t let one mistake trick you into thinking EVERYTHING was terrible. 

  • Let’s say you are taking a test and you get every single question right except for the last 5… you end the test with a 90%. You are pretty psyched about your solid grade! Especially if it was your Econ 101 final! You go home feeling excellent about the hard work you put in. Did you let that missed 10% haunt you? NO! Why? Because you know that for the majority, you performed excellently! 

  • Now in life, there are scenarios that, if you miss the last 10% you end up in second place. A football kicker could be having the game of his life, make his all time PR, but if he missed the game winning field goal, he may be tempted to overlook the good that happened. This is exactly what happened to me. I had done an excellent job loading weights and timing lifts for 90% of the time, but made one mistake. I allowed that mistake to completely overshadow the GOOD that I had done. It wasn’t until my wife tried to cheer me up when she said, “Hey, you actually did a really good job for the most part” that I realized this lesson. We shouldn't ever let one mistake taint all the ground we have gained. Look at a scenario from the big picture, recognize all the progress you have made, learn from where you tripped up, and keep moving forward with this wisdom.

  • We fall into this all or nothing mode where we believe that something must be PERFECT in order to count it as a win. Maybe you are working on relinquishing a self destructive behavior and you go 3 months without falling into it again. But after that mistake, in three months and 1 day, you may be tempted to believe that all that time was in vain. NO! YOU MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS! Learn from your mistake, put systems in place to help you improve and be better moving forward. It's that simple. 

Hopefully, my mistake, or better said, LESSONS, can serve some of y’all. I truly believe what Tallin said! No mistakes, just lessons learned! Make sure you analyze your mistakes and turn them into lessons. Learn from them. Make them count. If we don’t learn and grow from mistakes, we are fools! Don’t dwell on them, GROW FROM THEM! 

Now, before I wrap up, I'll take a minute to rave about my incredible wife. Even though this local meet didn’t end the way we planned, I have never doubted her ability to dominate weightlifting. There are better days ahead, just trust me!  I am so grateful to have her in my life as my wife.  I am her biggest fan and cheerleader. She makes life so much better in every way and inspires me to be a better man everyday. There is nobody else that I can laugh with like her. Kaija is my best friend. We moved our entire lives out to Georgia because we both have faith in God’s plan for her. God is really making things fall into place, and this “move of faith” is panning out! We have been so blessed. I know that there is a long road ahead, full of good times, lesson learning, and adventure! There is nobody else I’d rather do life with than my beautiful bride, Kaija. In just the 8 months we have been married, we have grown so much closer and learn so much more about each other. Here’s to more adventures and lessons moving forward!

Sources:

Manning, Craig. The Fearless Mind: 5 Essential Steps to Higher Performance. CFI, 2017.

Photos: Will Breault, Barbell Stories

Roadblocks or Opportunities?

Today, I’m going to challenge the way you view roadblocks, curve balls, closed doors, and failures. Be ready for me to question your perspective, and be willing to make some shifts in your mindset! We always hear successful people talk about their relationship with failure as something essential to success. But doesn’t it sound cliché? You hear the motivational speaker passionately preach about the importance of failure and learning from mistakes. You hear Rocky Balboa yell, “But it ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.. It’s how much you can take, and keep moving forward.” Now, if you didn’t read that in a Rocky voice, please go back and read it correctly. Here’s the point. Failure and obstacles forces us humans to dig inside of ourselves and RISE to the occasion. These obstacles in our path literally make us better people. There is no cliché in that, it is just simple TRUTH.

Over the last month, I listened to one of my top 5 favorite books, “The Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday. In the audiobook, Holiday explains how 1st world folk can draw power from the teachings on the Stoics. You may have learned that the Stoics were philosophers that “expressed very little emotion” as I did. However, as I started reading “The Obstacle is The Way”, I realized that one of the secrets to my happiness was that I have been unconsciously practicing Stoicism most of my life. Stoics are not emotionless, they just see the world as it is. They don’t complain about it. Quotes such as “Play the cards you've been dealt” or “It is what it is” are based in Stoic teachings. It is black and white. There really is no fluff in this philosophy. Simply put, we DON’T control what happens to us, but we DO control how we respond to what happens to us. This being said, there is no such thing as a roadblock, curveball, or failure, but simply an opportunity to learn a lesson or triumph over a trial. Stoicism teaches that getting mad or disappointed about the situations that occur around you is just about as logical as yelling at the stop light for causing you to stop. Our circumstances do not control our destiny. WE control our destiny. 

During the year 2020, many of us have been thrown for a loop. We all had wedding, school, and vacation plans and then suddenly the world shut down for the COVID-19 pandemic. No more school, no more group events, no more traveling. I’ll never forget the limbo stage in March, wondering whether I’d be going back to BYU the next week, or completing my senior year of college on my laptop. School was canceled. Cheerleading was canceled. And I finished my senior year at BYU on a laptop in Grandma Wendy's basement. Originally, I planned to sell D2D with Fluent Alarm in Atlanta, but another curveball came our way when I found out that due the pandemic, there was not going to be a team in Atlanta. My wife and I also felt as though our game plan had been completely scrambled. Our number one priority was to get Kaija out to Georgia so she could focus on her weightlifting career so we stuck to the plan. We took a leap of faith, packed up our 16 foot moving truck and trailer, and embarked on our cross-country “Move of Faith” to Georgia. 

If you read my last blog, you’ll know about the difficulties Kaija and I faced financially, and how I overcame a fear (insecurities relating to sales)  by FAITH! However, today I want to talk about a specific story that occurred on our adventure.

There we were driving I-70 eastbound in our massive caravan. As our moving truck puttered along the steep hills of Colorado, we hugged the cliff walls on the side of the road. Metals nets lined the cliff walls and signs that said, “Watch out for Falling Rock” were scattered along the pass. At one point,  I looked to my wife and said, “Do rocks even fall out here? What silly signs!” A couple hours passed when suddenly, I looked up and saw a boulder the size of an SUV break off the side of a cliff and slowly fall towards the earth. A Semi that was driving directly into it. Luckily, the semi had enough time to hit its brakes to avoid getting crushed, but not enough time to avoid barreling into the debris that littered the pass. A gigantic dust cloud formed, engulfing the semi-truck and leaving Kaija and I stunned. We just watched a “falling rock.”

I'll never forget what happened after that moment. I pulled over our truck, put the vehicle in park and said, “Well… let's go move some rocks.” We got out of the car, and made sure that the driver and his wife, William and Felecia, were safe before we started hauling and flipping boulders to clear the way. After a minute, I realized we needed to recruit help. To my surprise, all of the other drivers had STAYED IN THEIR CARS! These rocks that were in the road had COMPLETELY stopped them from continuing forward on their journey. I walked past these cars and motioned to drivers, “Hey, we have to MOVE these rocks! They won’t move themselves!” We managed to recruit about 7 other caravanners who helped us clear the debris from the road. Kaija and I directed traffic and stayed behind for the incident report while the other drivers got on their way. 

 I found it interesting that the other drivers stayed in their vehicle. Each of these drivers had somewhere to be, but they allowed the obstacle (the rocks) to completely stop them. Literally. They put their cars in park. When you have a roadblock in your life, do you stop? Do you put your life “in park” and wait for something to happen? In order for Kaija and I to make it to our destination, we had to ACT. The obstacle (the rocks) BECAME the way (I-70 east). There is a difference between those that let the world act upon them and those that ACT on the world. It's a MINDSET shift that leads to a change in ACTION.

In the great work Meditations, Marcus Aurelius, the most respected emperor in Roman history, reflects on impediments to our actions. Concerning roadblocks he stated: 

“Our actions may be impeded...

But there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.

The impeding to action advances action.

What stands in the way becomes the way.”

If there ever was a time to live this principle, it is now. The year 2020. Have you caught yourself viewing the events of 2020 similar to how the other drivers saw the boulders in the pass? Sure, this year wasn’t what people thought it would be, but it is what it is. We must adapt and move forward. We must play the cards we have been dealt. It’s ok to have disappointments, but wallowing in self pity never helped solve a problem. Eventually, we must come to terms with the way the world is, adapt, and move forward. Don’t be a driver that puts their car in park! DO SOMETHING! It is my opinion that 2020 will be looked upon as the year people either 1.) Sat in their cars in park or 2.) Excepted the circumstances, ACTED, and made the best of it. Be the person who accepts, adapts, and acts.

The hallmark belief of Stoicism is that all trials are viewed as a means to an end. Ryan Holiday calls this phenomenon “turning shit into sugar.” Think about it. Every successful person out there had a moment that could have defined them if they had let it. Instead, they overcame the adversity and turned the trial into a triumph. Amelia Earhart became the first female pilot despite a time period of intense gender inequality. Helen Keller, both deaf and blind, graduated from college and went on to become an author, political activist, and lecturer. Martin Luther King Jr. fought for racial equality during the 1960’s and inspired America to “live out the true meaning of it’s creed.” Every successful icon had to overcome the impossible, and these “impossible roadblocks” actually ended up being their biggest triumphs. Hence the saying, “Turn shit into sugar!”

Kaija and I were able to make something positive out of our roadblock situation. Later on that evening, Felicia messaged me and said that the local news had done a report on the incident. Kaija and I opened up the video, saw the pictures of us lifting boulders, and died laughing when William Lewis Jr. said, “They look like they do this everyday!” The funny thing is Kaija DOES do stuff like this everyday! 

Can you see how we made the good out of an otherwise terrible situation? I am still in touch with Felicia and William. They are alive and well. We have an incredible story, we made new friends, and we made it on the news! We COULD have stood by and let these rocks ruin our road trip. Instead, we decided to make the best of the situation and ACT. I firmly believe that God gives us “roadblocks” in our lives so that we can learn and grow. My dad would always say, “everything happens for a reason.” From before we ever became active church go-ers, this statement, was and still is the foundation of my faith.  Even though we may not know exactly WHY something has happened, we can trust that there is a God above who will never give us a trial that is too big to handle! Whatever the path is, God meant for it to be there. He meant for us to learn from it, or just simply just TRUST in him. Stay positive during the trials and realize that the obstacle IS THE WAY! If life didn’t have obstacles, we would never be pushed to grow or BECOME! 

That’s all for this week folks! Take care and please send me any recommendations or suggestions. Stay positive despite what's going on around you and focus on what YOU CAN control, not on all the chaos. Don’t let 2020 become the “lost year.” Don't put your car in park and WAIT for something to happen! Open the door and ACT! Move some BOULDERS like you do it everyday!

🤝LEND A HELPING HAND🤝 💪🏼WATCH UNTIL THE END💪🏼 *I still remember seeing this boulder fall off the cliff in slow motion. It exploded on impact and dust blanketed the entire road. The semi ahead of us, if 5 seconds faster, would have been demolished. *I put our moving truck in park and told Kaija, "Let's go move some boulders!" The trucker and his wife were so grateful as we recruited other drivers to help clear the road. Kaija and I felt good that our lifting skills could be put to use and we even made the evening news! 😂 Yes, @kaijafrancesca does do that everyday! 😆 *This was an obvious scenario of somebody in need. However, there are a many people fighting battles we will never see. Be kind to those around you and LIFT others up! You could lift boulders for them, or just lift up their hearts! ❤️ *What are some simple things you can do to lend a helping hand? COMMENT BELOW AND SHARE! 😊 #positivevibes #positivity #positiveenergy #positivo #service #give #help #helpingothers #grateful #gratefulheart #blessed #happiness #christian #dountoothers #happinesshackz #hackz #boulder #rocksliders #rock #rockslide #glenwoodsprings #canyon #roadtrip #road #roadtrippin #move #moving #truck #semitrucks

Making "Moves of Faith"

Today, I'll be sharing with y'all a little update on my and Kaija’s life out here in Georgia. I’ll share with you some stories about our cross-country move, my leap of faith back into the D2D industry, and give you a formula for success.

I like to call this part of our life the “move of faith and I’ll explain why. First, let me tell you a fun story. There was a particular season at BYU cheer where I was the equipment manager with my best friend, Austin Harmon. We really did make that equipment great again.. One day I was given the responsibility to transport these HUGE signs in my tiny Honda CRV. One read  “GO'' and the other read “COUGARS” and they completely obstructed my rearview window. Before a game, Harmon and I got my car, I couldn’t see anything behind us, and I just yelled, “Back Up of FAITH!” and gassed it. Since then, we would shout literally anything and add “of faith” at the end. Gotta do a back tuck? Back tuck of faith! Groupon ticket discount and no date? Purchase of faith! Sending a text message to ask someone on a date? Text message of faith! It became synonymous with the “Send it!” phrase, and we lived it everyday! Today, I would like to tell you about Kaija and I’s cross-country “move” of faith and all of the decisions, and miracles that followed thereafter. 

Ever since I got serious about marrying Kaija, I knew that moving south would be in the cards. Kaia’s weightlifting team, Power and Grace, trains in Suwanee, GA. After training remotely at the BYU weight room and outlifting most male athletes, it was time to level up and train with the heavy hitters.  After lots of prayer, we knew that moving out to Georgia was the right thing to do. Even though we had very little connections in the Peach State, we knew God wanted us down south and that He would make a way. The plan was to move to Georgia, find stable jobs, and save up for a down payment on a home within a year. The only connections we had were Kaija’s weightlifting teammates, and Kaija and I both knew the owners of Anthem Pest Control somewhere in Georgia. Other than that, we had zero connections. Nada. Zip. Even though our plan made very little sense to the rational person, there were little signs along the way that reassured us we were doing God’s will. Shoot , we hadn’t even seen our apartment complex! However, while we were filling out the resident application, my older sister texted me and asked if I wanted her old car, solving one of our most pressing concerns. Coincidence? I think not! 

On June 10th, Kaija and I packed up our 16 foot moving truck and trailer, said goodbye to our Utah family, and got on the road to the unknown. That road trip was one for the books. Between visiting family and friends, seeing a falling boulder and working road clean up (See Instagram), strolling down Hollywood street in Nashville Tennessee, and getting a flat tire, we had quite the road trip. It wouldn’t be a cross-country road trip without a flat tire! On June 16th, we rolled into town with all our stuff and Javier Perez, one of our new church members and 4 missionaries unloaded the entire truck before I could even call to order them pizza. We were welcomed to GA with open, loving arms, and we knew that we were making the right “move.”

Before moving out to Georgia, I spent the time between graduation and our moving date selling solar panels with Fluent. At the time, we were living in the comfort of Kaija’s grandparents basement, rent free, and working to make some cash before the big move. Selling solar door to door is a very profitable route in the door to door world, and many people make solid cash doing so. While I was a Rockstar at setting appointments, I struggled to close deals. In a 100% commission based job, no sales equals no dinero. The hardest part about this wasn’t not making money, but not being able to support my wife. I don’t think I’d be wrong in saying that one of the biggest prides a man has is being able to take care of his wife. Coming home and having to tell my wife, “Yeh, nothing today” was mentally taxing. I still remember the first sale(s) that I closed. Yes, TWO! My in-laws were visiting, and I just remember nothing made me more happy than giving my wife a gigantic hug and knowing that I had finally closed a deal and would be getting a generous paycheck the next week. I sat with Kaija’s family and was so happy that I had shown I could take care of her. 

I continued selling up until we went on a trip to Lake Powell for a week with Kaija’s family. The whole point of a Lake Powell trip was to get away and enjoy each other's company in the most beautiful place in the entire world. This was one of the most enjoyable vacations I have ever taken. (Thanks Eric and Cara!) Nothing was better than spending time on the boat with my wife, her family, and our best friends. While the trip was fantastic, there was a particular night in which my phone had somehow received a message. I looked down to read that one of the two customers I had signed had CANCELED.

I allowed this cancellation to completely break my spirits. I was troubled by it and wanted to let Kaija know. At 11:30pm I let her know we lost a sale. You can imagine that went super well. Nope, not at all. As fun as Kaija and I are, just like any marriage, we have had fights! And at 11:30pm, both of us tired and pissed off that a sale went under, I decided, “I’m gonna sleep on the wood!” I slept that entire night on a wood bench away from my wife, mad that I had lost one of my few sales. Door to door sales was starting to seem more as a stressor than an opportunity.

Returning back to Utah, I was incredibly hesitant to get out on the doors with energy like I had previously done. It had taken me a full month to lock down those two deals, and now I only had two more weeks before I was going to pack up a moving truck and move to Georgia. Scared to work those last two weeks in vain, I half-assed the first 6 days and threw in the towel after seeing no results. I rationalized that working as a “Dasher” for door dash would be the more profitable route. Typically on my dasher routes, I felt ashamed because I didn’t rise to the occasion and continue with the commitment I had previously made. 

We made our move to Georgia in search for a stable lifestyle with stable jobs. I quickly made a connection with a cheer gym and picked up a part time job as a tumbling coach. While I wasn’t coaching, I was sending in my resume to places like Costco, Home Depot, and Lowes. I even walked into a Cracker Barrel to apply as a waiter… At the end of the week, if I worked my butt off in these companies, the most I would make would be around 450 dollars. Such a lifestyle would bring in enough to cover our monthly fixed costs with little money to save.

Right as I started to get call backs from employers, I contracted COVID-19 and Kaija and I got to spend 2 weeks stuck in our one-bedroom apartment. There are only so many marvel movies you can watch before you feel like you are doing nothing with your life. After watching every single marvel movie, (except for Spiderman and The Hulk… come on Disney) unable to work, and pondering on the current world affairs, Happiness Hackz was born. COVID-19 forced me to think made me think of something I could run from my home, and still have an impact. I was thrilled as I came up with ideas as to how I could monetize my ideas for Happiness Hackz and run a business on the side. By the time our two-week quarantine had ended, I had started a website, blog, and YouTube channel for Happiness Hackz. I wanted to use Happiness Hacks to spread positivity and motivation.

Happiness Hackz picked up traction pretty quickly and still is growing as we speak. One day as I was working on one of my daily posts, I got a message from one of my biggest mentors, Jeremy Davis. Jeremy is a stud that I was connected to by one of my friends, Nathaniel Baker. Nathaniel knew that I was wanting to learn door to door sales and connected me with Jeremy Davis who had previously sold in Atlanta with Fluent Alarm. This guy took me under his wings and taught me so much about sales, relationships, and the power of systems and routines. The message I received from Jeremy that morning said, “It’d be cool to see what habits you’re doing to create happiness.” This was a message sent solely as a fun recommendation but it hit me in an entirely different way. I was spending all of this time writing about taking risks and achieving dreams, but I had thrown in the towel on door to door sales… I felt like my advice was empty if I had given up a dream. I thanked Jeremy for the advice, and started posting more about my workouts/reading habits, but I knew that I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching. I started to think about the door to door sales option again. It was still a very sensitive topic for me, but I at least started thinking about it.

Fast forward to a particular evening at Sylvan Dale. Kaija and I were both sitting on the cabin porch reflecting on where we were headed in life. We talked about the hard questions. What is our financial situation? What can we do to find jobs? What do we need to do to meet our goals? We both have a dream of buying a beautiful southern home with a wrap around porch and land. Was what we were doing at that time going to lead us to accomplish that goal? It is important to evaluate what your current situation will produce. To conduct a personal evaluation, you could ask yourself, “If I stay in my current situation, where will I be in one year?” and “Will this support the life that I want to build?”   

For me, I knew that what I was currently doing (sending in applications on Indeed and bothering Veronica from Costco every week) was not going to set us up for a home in a year. I had to make a “move of faith” and do something I was scared to do. Kaija and I both know the founders of Anthem Pest control, and we both knew that Anthem was somewhere in Atlanta, but I was so averse to the thought of selling that I hadn’t even bothered to look up the location. After this hard conversation with my bride, I texted Mitch Mathews, one of the founders of Anthem and former BYU football player, about selling with Anthem. I briefly opened up to him about the insecurities I had about sales, to which he simply responded, “you have a great personality for this.” If Mitch believed I could do it, then maybe I could!

Mitch connected me with Blake Jensen, the team lead for the Atlanta office, After talking to Blake, I discovered that Anthem headquarters is literally 5 minutes away from our apartment complex. Coincidence? I think not. Just like the sign from God when my sister offered us her car, it was blatantly obvious that God wanted us exactly where we are right now, in this “lease of faith” apartment complex. It was time to look my insecurities dead in the eye and start believing in myself. 

My first day on the job, a rep named Zack Strong took me out to Dallas, Atlanta to teach me how to sell Pest Control. He helped me sell my very first account! When I say “helped me” I basically mean he sold an account FOR me. His entire purpose was to show me the process and help me see just how easy it really was. In tumbling, you typically spot an athlete when they try a new skill. You want to make sure they at least get a feel for the skill. You may spot them lightly, or literally heave their bodies over in a back flip with a heavy spot.  If I were to compare this first sale to my tumbling coaching, I would say Zach gave me a “strong spot.” (Pun intended. His last name is Strong.) I am forever grateful that this kind sales rep and amazing teacher took time out of his day to teach the new guy how to do business. I went the rest of the week believing that selling pest control was easy and sold 10 accounts in my first week. I felt so accomplished and optimistic because I finally felt I could support my beautiful bride and I in our dreams. Zach Strong did a whole lot more than sell an account for me that day. He showed me the ropes and helped me believe that selling pest control was possible. 

After that day, August 10th, I continued to work on my fail-safe system. Wake up. Nourish my faith by reading scriptures. Work out. Nourish my body with a healthy breakfast. Nourish my mind with a sales training book. Nourish my relationship with my wife by making her breakfast and giving her a foot massage. THEN I GET TO WORK! The more I focus on my morning routine and the most important aspects of my life, the more successful I am at work. All of those actions boost my self-concept and allow me to perform at my best while facing rejection on the doors. I believe that the way you start a day has a direct effect on how you live the remainder of the day. You can either wake up and nourish your mind, body, and spirit, or get lost in a rabbit hole of social media. You know exactly what I’m talking about.  It’s the first 30 minutes of the day, but these minutes are crucial to your success in your jobs, relationships, and thought processes. As long as I stick to my system, I know I will have success. 

This is my life now! I have never been happier. I have to be intentional about everything I do because there is literally no time to waste. When we are intentional about our time, we find that we spend it wisely. When it comes to time, we all have an expiration date. I wake up every day knowing that I could kick the bucket that day… While this may frighten some people, it actually motivates me to work harder, speak more kindly, and love more deeply. It motivates me to push for the things that are important to me. 

Why am I sharing all these things? Because 2 months ago I walked into a Cracker Barrel looking for employment as a waiter. Here I had all this potential and I was about to throw it all away. I had given up on a dream and as I walked through those doors and spoke to the manager, I knew that there was something more in me I hadn’t tapped into. I was capable of so much more. I was just scared of failing. I had to make a “move of faith” and confront my fear. I had to look my fear dead in the eye and crush it like a bug. When we act in faith, fully believing that we will succeed, God will help us achieve our goals. He cares about us and he wants to see us succeed. 

Before I finish up, I want to leave you with a “Success Formula” I drafted up the other day. My favorite quote of all time is, “The vision to see, the faith to believe, and the will to do will take you anywhere.” I found out that my “formula” is simply that quote redacted into an equation. 

TOOLS + POSITIVE SELF BELIEF + WILLINGNESS TO ACT = SUCCESS

TOOLS: The tools we need to succeed in our daily lives are extremely important. Let me paint you a picture. What would happen if you had a person attempt a backflip with all the BELIEF and WILLINGNESS TO ACT, but with no TOOLS? These are the” fail videos” you see on YouTube of people attempting a backflip only to land on their neck. We need tools, ability, and knowledge to be successful in a task. 

The tools are our “vision to see.” Could you imagine trying to accomplish a task without sight? It would be very difficult. Similarly, we need to have the correct TOOLS to accomplish a task. Here’s a quick example. Do you think you’d be able to do a back flip if you weighed 300 pounds? Probably not. You could TOTALLY do it, you’d just have to slim out and get it shape!

I’m going to say that the TOOLS we need are wellness. Wellness is a multifaceted concept that includes our relationships, exercise, nutrition, and knowledge. If we maintain a balanced life, we will have the tools to succeed in whatever we set our heart on. What can you do to gain and sharpen your “tools” in your tool belt? 

POSITIVE SELF-BELIEF: Brian Tracey said, “The person we believe ourselves to be will always act in a manner consistent with our self image.” The person we believe ourselves to be will ALWAYS be who we are. If you believe you are an active person, you will ACT in a way according to that belief. You will exercise more often.  If you believe yourself to be unintelligent, you will probably not perform well in school. You will go into a test with a doom and gloom attitude and fail. If you believe you are a salesman that can close a deal, you will be more likely to sell your product. Do you see just how much the “self-concept” affects our daily actions? IT'S SO IMPORTANT. I’m asking you to CHOOSE to believe in yourself. Every time you have a negative internal dialogue, speak greatness into yourself. Speak OUT LOUD! I audibly repeat self affirmations before I knock on a door for a sale. I tell my athletes to scream “I CAN DO A (Insert Skill!)” 5 times before attempting it. They all think I’m a little crazy until they see how effective it is. What can you do to boost that belief in yourself? 

WILLINGNESS TO ACT: What if you had all the tools and all the self-belief in the world but don’t act. We all know people like this. They are incredibly gifted and they know it, but they just can’t get their butts off the couch! This ingredient is the hustle. Without it, you won’t be able to use your tools and your self belief is in vain. How much effort are you putting into your dreams? Could you be wasting precious time that could be put to use elsewhere? What are you going to do TODAY to act? 

Hopefully, my and Kaija’s “move of faith” story and insights made you think about what your “move of faith” is. We all have got something we know we should do, but we hold back because of fear of failure. The biggest risk we run isn't failing, it’s failing to take a risk. Take a bet on yourself and you will be surprised to see where it takes you. Remember to include all three parts of the formula I gave you today. If you forget one of those ingredients, success is much harder to achieve. Please email me at happinesshackz@gmail.com and share with me your “moves of faith.” I want to hear how you are implementing my formula of success. Please share my blog and Instagram page (@happiness.hackz) with three of your friends so we can spread positivity and speak greatness into each other!

That’s all for now! Now it's time for me to get back to work and keep on working towards my and Kaija’s dreams! I appreciate all of you that read to the end of this blog and love that you are a part of my journey of faith! Slide through the gallery below to see some pictures from our cross-country move of faith!

Hackz from the Horseback

This last week, Kaija and I enjoyed a once in a lifetime opportunity to gather with my family at a dude ranch. Three months ago, I had no idea what a “dude ranch” was, but to give it to you in a nutshell, it’s a place where people can live the “all-inclusive” cowboy life. Horseback riding lessons, herding and sorting cattle, shooting guns, archery and fishing. Beautiful hikes, competitive cornhole and horseshoes, and cooling off in the river. And we can’t forget the homemade country food that they prepare for you every meal. Dude ranches truly are a western paradise. I was curious how dude ranches got their name. Why “dude?” After a little bit of research, I discovered that back in days of the Wild West, the “true westerners” looked down on the rich easterners that ventured out west to try out the cowboy life. “Dude” was coined to describe the wealthy who came to “experience the west” without the real and sometimes life-threatening risks that cowboys faced daily. “Guest” ranches were formed to host those wealthy easterners and capitalize on a new business opportunity. I chuckled as I realized that Kaija and I would have been labeled as “dudes.” Gerogians flying out on a 7-47 to experience all the glories of cowboy life without having to scoop the poop. 

Although these “dudes” had zero responsibilities, I can imagine they left the west with an appreciation for cowboy life. As a dude myself, I can attest that even at a dude ranch you travel back home with new insights. After spending countless hours on horseback, thinking all the while, I was able to gain some insights from Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch.

Be passionate about what you do.

Sylvan Dale is owned and operated by a couple named Dave and Susan. Every week, they host a new family of “dudes” on their western adventure. Their lives are a western version of the movie “Groundhog Day.” Dave and Susan have a schedule of events that they repeat weekly to give the dudes the most memorable cowboy experience possible. One early morning we rode on horseback to the top of a ridge to arrive to Dave and Susan cooking a fresh country breakfast over a fire. They were happy to serve us in any way possible, coming to collect our plates when we finished, and even asking if we needed refills. On another evening, Dave and Susan gave a two hour presentation about the history of the Sylvan Dale land. Their enthusiasm glows as they express their love of the ranch land. That is why the Sylvan Dale logo is a heart representing the “love of the land.” I sat back and listened to these folks speak with such passion about Sylvan Dale. They have passion for everything they do, and their enthusiasm for Sylvan Dale is infectious.

 What is special about Dave and Susan? They are passionate about what they do. They have a reason to rise and shine every morning.What a HAPPY life. Full of hard work and busy. But HAPPY. We all need to build a life that energizes us to wake up and seize the day. Finding your WHY in your life will be incredibly important as you find something you are passionate about. Find something you are passionate about and work towards it a little bit each day. I look at Dave and Susan as examples of a life well lived. They have built a happy life, and live for something much bigger than themselves. If you are struggling to find your passion, read my last blog named “WHY Happiness Hackz Began.” 

Treat people like people, not objects.

Have you ever heard an equestrian get excited to talk about their love of horses? I figured this bond was similar to that of a pet and its owner, but was amazed to discover that there was more to this human-equine bond. To understand this completely, you need to understand that a horse weighs 1500-2000 lbs and I weigh a whopping 220 lbs. My horse, Maria, was a draft horse typically used for heavy labor. You don’t realize the brute strength these animals possess until you are saddled up, and completely their mercy. Horses are powerful creatures, and if you don’t know how to communicate with them, you will be in for a wild ride.

Guest horses are trained to respond to simple cues that correspond with actions such as backing up, moving forward, speeding up, and turning. Making a clicking or kissing noise would cue the horse to giddy up into a jog or a lope. Applying pressure to the belly with your feet would be similar to pressing the gas pedal on a car. When you kick or squeeze, the horse moves forward. The first time riding a horse is similar to the first time driving a car. You pump the gas too strong and lunge forward. You struggle to turn the wheel. The vehicle suddenly stops when you pump the break out of fear. The maneuvering that we desire for the car is often harder to realize than we realize. Similarly, the messages we send to the horse may be communicating the exact OPPOSITE of what we want them to do. I had this epiphany when my cousin Pierce was yelling at his stubborn horse to “GO, GO, GO,” only to discover that “GO” sounded like “Woah” which was a cue for stopping.  

For beginners, the car metaphor is an effective way to teach the basics. However, after observing carefully, I noticed that the wranglers rode without any cues the “dudes” had to use. When we asked Ali, one of the wranglers, how she was able to telepathically signal the horse to speed up, she mentioned that she transferred “energy” to her horse. She treated the horse as something much more than a machine or object, but as a living, breathing creature capable of sensing energy. Instead of treating the horse like an object to fulfill her needs, she practically treated it as a person! The wranglers knew that both parties, the wrangler and the horse, would be happier and more successful if they fostered a human-equine bond.

How do these stories relate to you? Have you ever had a coworker, family member, spouse, or child that just was stubborn as my cousin’s horse. You want them to do something, often times for their own good, and they just stand there as you scream, “GO, GO!” One of the most frustrating things in life is trying to help somebody you love only to have them ignore you, or rebel against you. If you nodded your head at all while reading that, I want you to ask yourself the following 2 questions:

1. Do I think of ___(insert name)___ as an object to fulfill my selfish desires, OR do I treat them as a person?

2. Are the messages I’m sending to ___(insert name)___ conveying the message I mean to transmit?

Similar to my cousin kicking and screaming, “GO” to his horse (a message that sounds an awful lot like Woah/Stop) we may be sending messages to loved ones that are not transmitted the way we intended them to be. If we care about delivering the message effectively, we will do what we can to make sure it is received as we intended. This process starts by changing our perspective on the individual. If you are frustrated at a coworker, spouse, or child, chances are you have countless justifications for why YOU are right and why THEY are wrong. Start by taking all those justifications and throwing them out the window. Then, take time to show them that you care. Find out what their love language is and SHOW that you love them unconditionally. Show them that you love them, not because you want them to CHANGE, but simply because you LOVE them. People are intuitive enough to know (your actions will also show) when you are performing an act of “love” with ulterior motives. People, just like horses, can feel your “energy” or your feelings with the words you speak and the things you do. Be genuine. Show that you care by loving unconditionally. Theodore Roosevelt hit the nail on the head when he said:

    “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

When we cease to see people as objects, when we show that we CARE, we realize there is a better way to communicate. In the case of my cousin, he realized that giving the horse a firm squeeze to the belly prompted the horse to start a slow walk. After seeing people as they truly are, we start to show our love for them. When they know how much we care, they may start to care about what we know and follow the promptings we give. Sometimes, we may feel that our relationships are going nowhere, like a stubborn horse. However, once we identify, redirect, and navigate our feelings with love, the outcome is significantly more gratifying to both parties. 

Relax and enjoy the ride

Horses live in the present. They do not dwell on the past or worry about the future. They simply take each moment for what it is. Humans can benefit from this wise equestrian perspective. The present moment is meant to be lived. Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda said,

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it's called the present.”

Living in the present means accepting each moment for what it is and finding joy in the precious seconds. Living in the moment may mean being conscious of your thoughts. It may mean going on a walk with your loved one, putting your phone away at family dinner, or being open to a new adventure or opportunity. There are so many potentially joyous moments that are robbed by our anxiety for the future or regret for the past. Clearing your mind of the past and future allows you to relax and appreciate the present. 

Relaxing along the way is key to enjoying the ride. When on horseback, the first time loping really throws you for a loop. You begin to bounce as the horse picks up to a three beat pace. Your first reaction is to grab the horn of the saddle. While you’d think that this would stabilize you, it only makes the ride more bumpy! Grabbing the horn tightens your body and throws you around even more! The only way to enjoy the ride and stay on the saddle is to relax. The most memorable experience on horseback was when we loped across a green Colorado meadow tucked away in the mountains. We relaxed and enjoyed the ride. The crisp air, the beating sound of hooves, and the field of flowers.

There are moments in life better enjoyed when we relax. We must compartmentalize our long day at work and come home to live in the present with our family. We oughta take the time to “put the gram away” (Thanks Kanye West) and live in the present with the amazing individuals surrounding us. We need to redirect our thoughts from the past and future, to the present. While I am an advocate or planning for the future, there is a stark difference between planning for, and fearing the future. We must learn from the past, plan for the future, and enjoy the present moment. What are some things you can do to better allow yourself to relax and enjoy the ride of life?

Happy trails to you, until we meet again.

Before we left the ranch, we had the chance to gather our entire family with Dave, Sue and the other staff to sing “Cowboy Logic” and have a Sylvan Dale Awards Ceremony. As we received our awards and listened to the happy staff sing cowboy logic, I realized that us dudes had gone west and learned a little bit of that cowboy intuition. The true westerners took time to teach us city slicker “dudes” some valuable lessons in life. Although I can’t say I’ve developed cowboy logic, I’ve returned back to Georgia with my sweet wife with a renewed perspective on life. 

Before I end, I must give a huge thanks to my amazing family who made this vacation happen. We were able to create so many special moments together. This will be a week that Kaija and I remember forever and we are so happy we got to spend it with you!

PLEASE SHARE via social media and spread positive uplifting messages!

Additional Resources:

-Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch Website: CLICK HERE

-Cowboy Logic Song: CLICK HERE

-On Relationships: “The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict” and any other books by the Arbinger Institute. 

-Finding your WHY: Why Happiness Hackz Began

WHY Happiness Hackz Began

You all may be wondering how I went from having the social media presence of your technically challenged grandma, to posting EVERY day about Happiness Hackz. Why? Because WHY! I found my WHY! Thats why! Have you ever heard one of those motivational speakers talk about “finding your why” and tapping into your undiscovered potential? You sit there wondering… HOW do I do that? I experienced this when I attended D2D Con and Ed Mylett spoke about chasing the version of ourselves God envisioned us to become. He had this theory that when he died, he’d meet the version of himself God had planned for. He wanted to look that guy in the eye and know that he had been chasing his heels up until the last breath. The world may call people like this crazy… and yes, they are. But why does the world say chasing your dreams crazy? Steve Jobs, founder of Apple said, 

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

Happiness Hackz is my attempt to chase the greater version of myself, to push me to do things that I have never done before, and change the world for the better. Today, I will guide you through my thought process on how I found my WHY and how my WHY inspired me to start Happiness Hackz: my life long project, business, and mission. So that's our game plan for today. Lets begin.

The foundation of my why started when I heard a Rachel's Challenge presentation in High School. From that day on, I was inspired that one person can create a chain reaction of compassion. Rachel Joy Scott was the first victim of the Columbine High School Massacre in 1999. After her death, stories upon stories surfaced about small acts of kindness she had performed for kids who needed a friend at school, to strangers stranded on the road with a flat tire. Rachel consistently went out of her way to show love to everybody she met. One of her journal entries boldly proclaimed, “I have this theory, that If one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.” I was changed by this idea and by her example. Rachel’s life served as evidence the chain reaction theory was true. Because of that high school rally, I decided I would take Rachel’s challenge and start my own chain reaction. 

I went through high school striving to just be kind to people. Still inspired by Rachel’s story, I joined the “Friends of Rachel” (F.O.R.) club after I heard about it on a club fair day. The choir teacher was the club sponsor and provided the space and resources for kids who desired to start a chain reaction. My senior year, F.O.R.  launched a campaign to encourage “Random Acts of Kindness.” The choir teacher bought hundreds of blue wristbands that read, “Random Acts of Kindness, F.O.R.” and F.O.R. members secretly scouted out good samaritans in their efforts to be kind. If you were seen doing something kind, somebody might give you one of these blue bracelets. It was a simple campaign that aimed to make kindness the new “cool.” In addition to our campaigns, we provided a safe environment for kids who wanted to meet friends, talked about being a friend to those in need, and ate donuts. Friends of Rachel was so special to me that I put a big F.O.R. patch on my letterman jacket. I was proud of it. Being kind is cool!  I’ll never know the full impact we had through that club, but that was never the point. We didn’t look for empirical data to track kindness episodes. We just wanted kindness to be contagious. From Rachel’s example, we knew it would spread like wildfire, we just may never see it, and that was ok. 

 You could say my WHY is to make a positive impact on the world. To encourage, inspire, and uplift. Spreading kindness and positivity is a foundational principle of who I am. It makes me happy! Happiness Hackz is a vehicle by which I can do the things I love and eventually make it my “full time job.” I can change individual lives through coaching, spread positivity through coaching, talk to extraordinary individuals, and create a powerful, positive change in the Word.

 All of us are here on this earth for a reason. There shouldn't be any shame in admitting that we want to make a difference in the world. Get loud about what is important to you and ACT to make something happen. Who cares if you fail miserably while trying to do something good! It is better than sitting and wishing you had tried! I have thought about some questions we can ask ourselves that can help us find our WHY and how to live it out. 

1. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME? WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY?

   • What makes you smile? What do you enjoy? When do you feel the most fulfilled? What do you want others to remember you by? If you could get paid to do something the rest of your life, what would it be?  Think about those things and write them down. You could be a plumber and want to provide the world with the best craftsmanship there ever was. You may want to cure cancer. Maybe there are injustices that you want to help solve. Maybe there is a cause for which you want to spread awareness. Example: I was recently made known of the nightmares of human trafficking. Helping rescue children from sex-trafficking is imporant to me and supporting O.U.R. would be fulfilling to me. 

2. WHERE IS A NEED?

   • What do people need right now? Is there a need for counseling? Is there a shortage of kindness? Is there a need for medical workers? Is there a need for awareness? Are there third world communities that need running water? Maybe there is a need for more dentists! Whatever it is, there are countless needs in the world! Find a need that is important to you!

3. WHAT SKILLS DO I HAVE?

   • Right now, you have a tool belt of countless skills that separate you from others. Maybe you come from another country and can speak another language. Maybe you are an excellent motivator. You could have leadership skills, or maybe you have fine attention to detail. You also have experiences and stories that are valuable. Write all these things down. Before I thought of Happiness Hackz this was the most powerful exercise in the creative process. I wrote down: Spanish, positivity, talking on the phone, cheerleading, exercise and wellness, habit formation techniques, organization, and writing. Even though I knew I wasn't the BEST writer, it was a tool I had in my tool belt. I decided a weekly blog would help me sharpen that tool. Last week, I used the word queue, instead of cue. One meant pool table queue, and the other (cue) had the correct denotation relating to behavior. Thank you Kelly! The point is, list all of your skills. You have more than you think. Maybe some of them have not been sharpened for a while, but you can fix that with practice, failure, redirection, and improvement. 

4. HOW CAN I MEET A NEED WITH THE SKILLS I HAVE?

   • This may take some thinking. How can you connect your skills to a need? If your skill is speaking another language, and you love helping people, you could become a medical interpreter. If you love to rollerblade, and there is a charity that's important to you, you can use rollerblading as a platform to raise awareness. If you love to dance and you want to have a positive impact on low income communities, you could start an affordable dance studio. There are countless ways to fulfill a need with the tools you already have in your tool belt. 

5. THINK BIG

   • I'm going to be honest here. Happiness Hackz was originally only going to be a “Positive Apparel” clothing line. I saw a need (happiness) and I thought a good way to address it was through positive clothing. This would be a simple way to promote positivity, kindness, donate proceeds to Operation Underground Railroad, and grow a business. Think bigger, Austin. Think Bigger. What other tools do I have in my tool belt? 

   • I talk on the phone A LOT. Everyday I have intriguing  conversations with people who never fail to amaze me. I recognized talking to others was a tool. How could I use that tool to meet a need? Well… people love talking about themselves and getting their message out. What if I interviewed people who have accomplished incredible feats and helped them SHARE that story? Whether you recognize it or not, you have experienced something that has put you in a position to lift others up. I decided that part of my Happiness Hackz movement would include a Youtube Channel. I will interview thousands of people over the course of my lifetime and help them share their stories. That is thinking big. What else… Well, I am positive, motivational, have a degree in exercise and wellness, and my car is an audible self-help university…What could I do to help spread kindness with those tools... Life Coaching. These little exercises helped me find WHYs in my life that I can begin to pursue with the tools I already have. NOW THINK BIGGER! I’ve got big big plans with Happiness Hackz and I know that I can’t do it alone. That’s where your network comes into play.

6. WHO DO I KNOW THAT CAN HELP?

   • As I began to think big, I started to realize there is a lot I do not know. I can compensate through researching online and reading books, there are a lot of areas where I simply need help. Yes! I need help! There are countless individuals around you that have tools you may never have. Usually when you reach out to these people they are more than happy to help. Example: When I was 8 years old, my dad flew the C5 galaxy in the Air Force. While flying he became good friends with another pilot. Dad and his friend would get their families together and I became friends with their son. With time, life happened, we moved, and I never thought I’d see them again until last week.  I mentioned to my mom how I’ll need to learn how to do video production for my business and Mom instantly thought of our family friends whose son had just graduated in video production. I was able to reconnect with my friend and we realized that he only lives 3 hours away from my home in GA. Pretty soon here, I’ll have him help me with the Happiness Hackz launch video. Who would have thought that these tiny connections we made through our families would come back around to edify both of us? Not only do I get to catch up with childhood friends, we both get to help each other in our life long goals. Making connections (networking)  is one of the most exciting and valuable aspects of our lives. You will never know when those small connections will come back around and enrich your (and the other parties) life. It’s not always about what you know, but who you know!

Are you dreaming yet? I want you to be dreaming of possibilities you can accomplish in your life! Chase that version you were meant to become and realize that you will make a TON of mistakes along the way. Remember, this is the only way to improve. Recognize the failure, make a plan to redirect and improve, and keep trucking. Happiness Hackz was never meant to lead people to a destination of happiness, but to teach people to find happiness in the journey. The only way we live a happy life is by chasing that WHY! Take a leap of faith and chase your WHY! Chase that version of yourself you were meant to become. If it doesn’t pan out to be a world changer, at least you changed YOUR world. 

I hope this got you thinking about your WHY and how you can use your tool belt, a need, and the people around you to accomplish spectacular feats. Please email me at happinesshackz@gmail.com and share with me your dream. I would love to support you in your efforts!

PLEASE SHARE WITH 3 FRIENDS! Let’s spread some positive messages and encourage people to chase their WHY!

Until next week folks! Spread positivity and kindness and these Hackz!

Lazarus the Aloe Plant

Kaija and I are proud plant parents of three. Mable (corn tree), Pokey (zebra aloe species), and Lazarus (soap aloe species). Today, I will tell you about our first plant baby, Lazarus. You see, Lazarus just got his name. You’ll hear his life story and a couple Hackz that we can learn from him. Before I continue: I want you to promise me that if this blog has a positive impact on you today, you’ll do three things at the end? Ok? Deal? Deal. I'm counting on you!

It all started with me grocery shopping at Smiths. On my way out, I impulsively decided that I needed to buy that 3 dollar aloe plant. The process of becoming a single plant dad only took 3 minutes! I was seeking excitement in my life, so kept it on my desk, and enjoyed it’s company. The newborn days. So special. While Kaija and I were dating, I realized I wanted a bigger pot than the plastic cup it was born in. That being said, I purchased a HUGE pot that made the aloe plant look incredibly out of place. A couple people asked why I used such a big pot. It was simple. I knew that my little plant would grow to be the most grand green aloe plant there ever was.

When Kaija and I got married, we became plant parents together. We wanted it to have the best chance at growing, and our basement window well wasn’t going to cut it. We decided to leave it at my sister in law’s house. Her kitchen and living room had open windows that allowed for optimal sunlight for our baby plant. Everytime we visited her house, we would notice how green and healthy it was. Had we left our baby plant in a better environment, and this allowed him to prosper!

However, during our cross-country trip from UT to GA, our baby did not fare well…. We tried our best to cover it from the harsh sun rays and we even buckled it in. Yeh, Kaija and I take our responsibilities as plant parents very seriously. However, the conditions on this week-long road trip were harsh. Moving is hard for kids, you know? Lots of change. By the end of the trip, it was half dead. The once beautiful leaves of green were now shades of purple and brown. Even though we had done our best (under those difficult circumstances) to take care of it, our little plant was practically on its way to plant heaven. This plant was such a special thing to Kaija and I! We didn’t want to see it go!

When we moved to our GA apartment we realized what had gone wrong, gave it a window to sit by, and watered it as needed. Although a portion of us felt our actions were in vain, we kept watering the aloe plant hoping it’d be restored to its green glory. Eventually, we noticed that leaf by leaf, the shades of purple and brown slowly transformed into a healthy green. At about two weeks, we had rekindled hope that our baby plant would make it! Now, at 1 month, it is greener and growing like never before! Jesus Christ rose Lazarus from the dead when everybody thought all hope was gone. I’m not trying to say that Kaija and I are messianic figures to our plant. Lazarus just fit. What Hackz can we learn from Lazarus the Aloe Plant?

Hackz from Lazarus’ Story

1. Give yourself permission to dream big: Just like I chose a pot that was incredibly disproportionate for Lazarus, you must give yourself the permission to accomplish big goals. Remove all limits on growth from your internal dialogue. A growth mindset doesn’t mean you shame yourself for what/where you are right now. Growth mindset means accepting yourself as a tiny seedling, but knowing and choosing to believe that you wilm become the tallest, strongest plant there ever was. What is your oversized pot in your life? My oversized pot is Happiness Hackz. I know only my family, friends, and a couple other loyal readers are reading this right now. I know that eventually hundreds, then thousands, will hear my message. (Eventually the entire world. Gotta start small!)

2. Give yourself a chance to grow: We had to make a hard decision and give our baby plant away for a little while. We knew the environment we had to offer was not conducive to its growth. While you are trying to grow, are you in an environment that will foster growth? Are the people around you making you better? Our bad habits are cued by the environment we surround ourselves with. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, explains how the people we think have the best self-control and discipline actually have very similar levels of self control to the individual struggling with impulsive or self destructive behaviors. The biggest difference is that the people who appear to have the best self control simply do not put themselves in compromising positions. Let’s say you are curbing a smoking addiction. Don’t be around people or places that cue that temptation. You struggle with waking up in the morning because you hit snooze on your phone. Put the phone across the room so you are forced to get out of bed! Our bad habits are cued by our surroundings. When trying to break or create a habit, think about what cues will help you perform or prevent a behavior. “Grow where you are planted, but realize that a Redwood tree will NEVER grow in the Sahara Desert. Make your ecosystem one where you can thrive. Your ecosystem consists of your home and work environments, social atmosphere, and not only your physical state (fitness and nutrition) but your mental, emotional, and spiritual state.” -Kaija Bramwell (My Beautiful Bride)

3. Be Realistic:  You wouldn’t expect a seedling to turn into a Redwood overnight, would you? Quit doing that to yourself!  Merritt J. Jones, author of “This Book Sucks: The Scrappy Insights of a Self-Proclaimed Perfectionist”, addresses how unrealistic expectations relate to plants: 

“When you give plants the right amount of water, it allows them to absorb a proper amount of nutrients from the soil. Overwatering often leads to root rot, which kills your plant. Underwatering leaves a plant malnourished, which again, kills your plant… Consider your unrealistic expectations the same as a plant with unbalanced care. Both will die and make you really sad.” (pg 19)

You will not hit your desired fitness goals if you go from a couch potato to joining a crossfit gym, attempting to do the daily WOD 6 days straight! No! You will give up. You will be disappointed and you will injure yourself. When embarking on a goal, we need to have a vision of exactly what we want to be, but start small, build confidence, and gradually increase intensity. Maybe this means starting by going on a walk, then a longer walk, a walk and jog, a jog, a jog and a run, and a run. You get the point. 

4.Never, Never give in: Even though Kaija and I almost killed Lazarus, we didn’t give up on him. Maybe you, like Lazarus, went through a toxic time and feel defeated. Remember… You can do this. Jeffery R. Holland said, “However late you think you are, however many chances you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love.” (April, 2012) Whether religious or not, we can all agree that YOU ARE LOVED. When things go wrong, identify the problem, make a plan to fix it, and give yourself time work through it a plan. Never give up on yourself! This principle is very easy to understand with a plant. Lets try to use it in our everyday lives for ourselves! Winston Churchill declared, “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never.” Be consistent in the small, daily actions and be patient.

That's all for today folks. BEFORE YOU GO! These three things! Here’s what I need from you!

1. Go buy a plant. Seriously. Any plant. They are a subconscious reminder of principles of growth.

2. Purchase Merritt J. Jones’ book on Amazon. I’ll provide the link below. It’s 3 bucks and 2 quarters... if you  enjoyed my writing, hers will captivate you even more. Go check it out! CLICK HERE!

3. SHARE THIS BLOG AND SPREAD THE WORD with at least 3 of your friends! Who do you think could use this message today? Think of those three friends. Now send them the link! Follow my Instagram @happinesshackz for more daily positivity and Happiness Hackz. Subscribe below!

Until next week folks. Stay Happy. Spread the Hackz and the love. 

Sources:

Clear, James. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, Penguin Audio, 2018

Jones, Merrit. This Book Sucks: The Scrappy Insights of a Self-Proclaimed Perfectionist, Kindle, 2020

Holland, Jeffery. Laborers in the Vineyard. April 2012 General Conference. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Bramwell, Kaija. AKA My Beautiful Bride

The Third Nut

Wasn’t middle school absolutely terrible? Looking back on my 24 years, I would emphatically claim that middle school was the most awkward, difficult time for a youngster trying to figure out why he was the only boy without armpit hair or a growth spurt. Middle School isn’t too different from the Hunger Games you know? Somehow, somebody threw a bunch of kids into a building, and convinced them that in order to get ahead, you have to figuratively take out every other ego competing for attention. Occasionally, alliances are formed to protect your temporary allies from the “burns” and “yo-mama jokes” that are shot at you like fiery arrows. Social ostracization is what signals the canon to be fired. To those that are in middle school right now. DON’T WORRY! Life is not an arena full of pubescent teens attempting to strut social dominance! IT GETS BETTER! A caveat for the following stories: this isn't to complain, nor do I want any sympathy. I'm simply recounting some impactful life experiences. 

In middle school, I had a dream of playing in the NBA. Yup, all 5 foot, 3 inches of me. I tried out for the basketball team both 7th and 8th grade. I still remember my 7th grade year when I ran up to the gym doors to read the piece of paper that was taped up on the wall… I read and re-read the list thinking maybe I had missed my name. Nope. Nada. Cut. I spent the next year dribbling through the hallways and practicing my free throw shot during lunch. One year later, I hopefully ran up to those same gym doors, only to find that I had been cut once again. Dribbling around a basketball wherever I walked attracted a LOT of attention and my basketball, always at my hip, got a nickname…(I’m giving you permission to laugh here) … Austin’s third nut.

Really though, it's ok if you chuckled. I am confident in myself and my athletic abilities. Maybe I didn’t hit a buzzer beater on Lebron James, but I did spend 4 years as a male cheerleader at BYU. The point here is that bullies are no fun. They suck the life out of you. They play monkey in the middle with your third nut at lunch time… and you are the monkey. They say horrible things about you, and you might just start to believe them. We try to stay clear of these bullies, but sometimes they have a way of getting to us. 

As a missionary serving in Santiago, Chile, I was assigned an area called La Cisterna where I lived in a tiny apartment with one companion. As missionaries, you must always have your companion at your hip. The only solitary moments are in el baño. You woke up at the crack of dawn to study the word of God, buttoned up a white shirt, slid on a tie and a pair of slacks and shoes and got to truckin’ for Jesus. While this job implied a lot of walking (A common Chilean saying said “Caminamos más que los Mormones”- We walk more than the Mormons) it was manageable when you had a loyal friend walking alongside you. Some of the most precious memories I have from Chile were made walking beside incredible lifelong friends. However, being shackled to a bully companion was an inescapable prison. 

 None of what I say is to bash on this particular guy, just to recount a story. I’ll never have known what it was like to walk in his shoes so I will withhold judgement. Let's just leave it at this… The socioeconomic conditions of this Guatemalan town where he was raised were a tad bit different from my high middle class suburb of Colorado Springs, CO. His hard circumstances had caused him to harden his heart, and he didn’t know how to show kindness. My Dad would have said that he “was kickin the dog”, a metaphor for coming home after a frustrating day of work only to unleash fury on the family dog. In this case, I was getting my tail whipped by my missionary companion.

At the time, I barely spoke a lick of spanish, and my attempt to say “dog” (perro) in spanish sounded more like “fart” (pedo). One of the phrases I resorted to saying was “Hoy es un buen dia!” or “Today is a good day!”. I tried to encourage my disgruntled companion by chiming “hoy es un buen dia” and cheer up a situation, only to be told, “No, it's not, and your Spanish is crap”. It was constant. He wouldn’t let up and would leap on any occasion he could to say something to bring me down. The hardest thing about it was that I couldn’t escape the wrath of this guy. It was relentless, and brutal. If I coulda separated myself from him, I would have in a heartbeat. 

We would do the same thing in our lives, right? If we have got a bully, we tend to stay away from them. We don’t listen to them. We don’t waste our time with them. If this isn’t true, fix it and cut the negative out of your life. Generally, we desire to stay clear of the negative voices in our lives, and we are better for it! However, you may have one more bully that you allow to LIVE with you everyday! Who is it? You may find them in the mirror. 

All this to get to one thing. Positive-self talk. Think about the dialogue you have with yourself in that noggin’ of yours. What do we tell ourselves? What limits do we place on ourselves that keep up from trying? What lies do we tell ourselves that prevent us from taking a leap of faith and starting that business, asking out our crush, or trying out for the team? Once aware of our internal dialogue, we may be surprised to notice that we tell ourselves we are not good enough, that our goals are too lofty, or convince ourselves to never even try! What we find is that our internal dialogue doesn’t sound too different from the ruthless missionary companion, or the bullies that stole my third nut from me in middle school! When the bully is external and obvious, we are significantly more likely to address the situation. However, when the bully is internal and subconscious, for some reason… we allow it.

If you are just now realizing, “wow, that’s me he's talking about”, don’t continue to self-sabotage! Be HAPPY that you recognized you are letting a bully live with you and kick them the hell out! The solution is to build consciousness and start addressing the bully! 

How do we do this? It is a process. We need to change the way we think little by little. Here are 3 Happiness Hackz to change your internal dialogue! 

1- Gratitude: Countless studies have shown that starting the day giving thanks for the things which you are grateful for improves health and attitude. Gratitude journals are popular vehicles to accomplish this. Consistency is key. Every day, write down three things that you are grateful for. Make it easier to accomplish this goal by leaving a notebook on the kitchen table where you eat breakfast in the morning. Put a pencil there. Set a goal to sit down and consciously write these items out. You will notice a tremendous difference in how you see the world around you!

2- Identity Beliefs: Being conscious is the first step to making corrections. James Clear, author of New York Times Bestseller “Atomic Habits”, emphasizes the importance of our self-identity. What we THINK about ourselves influences how we act! Example. How many people say that they want to write a book? Isn’t that on everybody’s bucket list? The problem is, many people do not write often. So, when they sit down to write a book, they are discouraged, realizing they have little evidence to BELIEVE they are a writer. James Clear would say that the goal shouldn’t be to write a book, but to BECOME a writer! In order to BECOME something, we need to do tiny, daily actions that give ourselves evidence to believe that we ARE (insert goal here). One of the major reasons I started this blog was so that I could BECOME a writer! I have a book up in my head trying to get out! Writing about happiness is my way of becoming a writer! Fill in the following sentence with your game plan to BECOME and start believing that you can execute your goals!

1. In order to become (what do you want to be), I will (choose a simple daily action that will help you act as a ____) every (choose a day or spread of days) at (location) at (time). 

2. Stick to this commitment you made and give yourself real evidence to SHOW that you ARE what you tell yourself you are!

3. Example: In order to become a WRITER, I will WRITE A BLOG POST ON HAPPINESS, every SATURDAY, at MY KITCHEN TABLE, at 5PM.

3- Flip negative thoughts into positive ones: Maybe you catch yourself saying, “I can't do that. I don’t know how to start a business”. Pause. Recognize the thought, and re-script that thought. Flip it to a positive! Tell yourself, “I may not know how to start a business now, but I’m going to do the things I DO KNOW, and ask others for help along the way. I am going to (actions) look at videos online to learn, and ask people who have started a business! I can do this!”

These three Hackz are simple. Gratitude. Self-Identity. Flipping negative thoughts to positive actions. While there are MANY ways to kick that bully out from your head, these are just three ways to keep yourself from having a bully follow you around. Most of y’all wouldn’t say the things you say to yourself to others, so why treat yourself that way? We all deserve for somebody to recognize the good that is within us. Why not make that person YOURSELF!? This isn’t just motivation to be more positive, but actual ACTIONS you can take to change the way your brain works! 

Nobody liked the middle school days where the hallways were filled with bullies, so why would put ourselves in the same situation again? It's never fun to LIVE with somebody that puts you down, so why would we ALLOW negative internal dialogue. The wonderful aspect of this is that we are in control of HOW we think! We are not mandated to walk around with a bully! So don’t do it! 

VISION. See the tremendous potential within you.

ACT. Trust yourself to set small goals that will help you become. 

MAINTAIN. Dedicate yourself to those habits.

Until next week! Keep on Truckin!

Email in Happiness Hackz that help you to happinesshackz@gmail.com so we can feature you in our weekly blog!

LINKS:

Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L4Omgo70Rk (at 13:00-14:50)

Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L4Omgo70Rk (14:50-17:20)