Today, I’m going to challenge the way you view roadblocks, curve balls, closed doors, and failures. Be ready for me to question your perspective, and be willing to make some shifts in your mindset! We always hear successful people talk about their relationship with failure as something essential to success. But doesn’t it sound cliché? You hear the motivational speaker passionately preach about the importance of failure and learning from mistakes. You hear Rocky Balboa yell, “But it ain’t about how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.. It’s how much you can take, and keep moving forward.” Now, if you didn’t read that in a Rocky voice, please go back and read it correctly. Here’s the point. Failure and obstacles forces us humans to dig inside of ourselves and RISE to the occasion. These obstacles in our path literally make us better people. There is no cliché in that, it is just simple TRUTH.
Over the last month, I listened to one of my top 5 favorite books, “The Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday. In the audiobook, Holiday explains how 1st world folk can draw power from the teachings on the Stoics. You may have learned that the Stoics were philosophers that “expressed very little emotion” as I did. However, as I started reading “The Obstacle is The Way”, I realized that one of the secrets to my happiness was that I have been unconsciously practicing Stoicism most of my life. Stoics are not emotionless, they just see the world as it is. They don’t complain about it. Quotes such as “Play the cards you've been dealt” or “It is what it is” are based in Stoic teachings. It is black and white. There really is no fluff in this philosophy. Simply put, we DON’T control what happens to us, but we DO control how we respond to what happens to us. This being said, there is no such thing as a roadblock, curveball, or failure, but simply an opportunity to learn a lesson or triumph over a trial. Stoicism teaches that getting mad or disappointed about the situations that occur around you is just about as logical as yelling at the stop light for causing you to stop. Our circumstances do not control our destiny. WE control our destiny.
During the year 2020, many of us have been thrown for a loop. We all had wedding, school, and vacation plans and then suddenly the world shut down for the COVID-19 pandemic. No more school, no more group events, no more traveling. I’ll never forget the limbo stage in March, wondering whether I’d be going back to BYU the next week, or completing my senior year of college on my laptop. School was canceled. Cheerleading was canceled. And I finished my senior year at BYU on a laptop in Grandma Wendy's basement. Originally, I planned to sell D2D with Fluent Alarm in Atlanta, but another curveball came our way when I found out that due the pandemic, there was not going to be a team in Atlanta. My wife and I also felt as though our game plan had been completely scrambled. Our number one priority was to get Kaija out to Georgia so she could focus on her weightlifting career so we stuck to the plan. We took a leap of faith, packed up our 16 foot moving truck and trailer, and embarked on our cross-country “Move of Faith” to Georgia.
If you read my last blog, you’ll know about the difficulties Kaija and I faced financially, and how I overcame a fear (insecurities relating to sales) by FAITH! However, today I want to talk about a specific story that occurred on our adventure.
There we were driving I-70 eastbound in our massive caravan. As our moving truck puttered along the steep hills of Colorado, we hugged the cliff walls on the side of the road. Metals nets lined the cliff walls and signs that said, “Watch out for Falling Rock” were scattered along the pass. At one point, I looked to my wife and said, “Do rocks even fall out here? What silly signs!” A couple hours passed when suddenly, I looked up and saw a boulder the size of an SUV break off the side of a cliff and slowly fall towards the earth. A Semi that was driving directly into it. Luckily, the semi had enough time to hit its brakes to avoid getting crushed, but not enough time to avoid barreling into the debris that littered the pass. A gigantic dust cloud formed, engulfing the semi-truck and leaving Kaija and I stunned. We just watched a “falling rock.”
I'll never forget what happened after that moment. I pulled over our truck, put the vehicle in park and said, “Well… let's go move some rocks.” We got out of the car, and made sure that the driver and his wife, William and Felecia, were safe before we started hauling and flipping boulders to clear the way. After a minute, I realized we needed to recruit help. To my surprise, all of the other drivers had STAYED IN THEIR CARS! These rocks that were in the road had COMPLETELY stopped them from continuing forward on their journey. I walked past these cars and motioned to drivers, “Hey, we have to MOVE these rocks! They won’t move themselves!” We managed to recruit about 7 other caravanners who helped us clear the debris from the road. Kaija and I directed traffic and stayed behind for the incident report while the other drivers got on their way.
I found it interesting that the other drivers stayed in their vehicle. Each of these drivers had somewhere to be, but they allowed the obstacle (the rocks) to completely stop them. Literally. They put their cars in park. When you have a roadblock in your life, do you stop? Do you put your life “in park” and wait for something to happen? In order for Kaija and I to make it to our destination, we had to ACT. The obstacle (the rocks) BECAME the way (I-70 east). There is a difference between those that let the world act upon them and those that ACT on the world. It's a MINDSET shift that leads to a change in ACTION.
In the great work Meditations, Marcus Aurelius, the most respected emperor in Roman history, reflects on impediments to our actions. Concerning roadblocks he stated:
“Our actions may be impeded...
But there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.
The impeding to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.”
If there ever was a time to live this principle, it is now. The year 2020. Have you caught yourself viewing the events of 2020 similar to how the other drivers saw the boulders in the pass? Sure, this year wasn’t what people thought it would be, but it is what it is. We must adapt and move forward. We must play the cards we have been dealt. It’s ok to have disappointments, but wallowing in self pity never helped solve a problem. Eventually, we must come to terms with the way the world is, adapt, and move forward. Don’t be a driver that puts their car in park! DO SOMETHING! It is my opinion that 2020 will be looked upon as the year people either 1.) Sat in their cars in park or 2.) Excepted the circumstances, ACTED, and made the best of it. Be the person who accepts, adapts, and acts.
The hallmark belief of Stoicism is that all trials are viewed as a means to an end. Ryan Holiday calls this phenomenon “turning shit into sugar.” Think about it. Every successful person out there had a moment that could have defined them if they had let it. Instead, they overcame the adversity and turned the trial into a triumph. Amelia Earhart became the first female pilot despite a time period of intense gender inequality. Helen Keller, both deaf and blind, graduated from college and went on to become an author, political activist, and lecturer. Martin Luther King Jr. fought for racial equality during the 1960’s and inspired America to “live out the true meaning of it’s creed.” Every successful icon had to overcome the impossible, and these “impossible roadblocks” actually ended up being their biggest triumphs. Hence the saying, “Turn shit into sugar!”
Kaija and I were able to make something positive out of our roadblock situation. Later on that evening, Felicia messaged me and said that the local news had done a report on the incident. Kaija and I opened up the video, saw the pictures of us lifting boulders, and died laughing when William Lewis Jr. said, “They look like they do this everyday!” The funny thing is Kaija DOES do stuff like this everyday!
Can you see how we made the good out of an otherwise terrible situation? I am still in touch with Felicia and William. They are alive and well. We have an incredible story, we made new friends, and we made it on the news! We COULD have stood by and let these rocks ruin our road trip. Instead, we decided to make the best of the situation and ACT. I firmly believe that God gives us “roadblocks” in our lives so that we can learn and grow. My dad would always say, “everything happens for a reason.” From before we ever became active church go-ers, this statement, was and still is the foundation of my faith. Even though we may not know exactly WHY something has happened, we can trust that there is a God above who will never give us a trial that is too big to handle! Whatever the path is, God meant for it to be there. He meant for us to learn from it, or just simply just TRUST in him. Stay positive during the trials and realize that the obstacle IS THE WAY! If life didn’t have obstacles, we would never be pushed to grow or BECOME!
That’s all for this week folks! Take care and please send me any recommendations or suggestions. Stay positive despite what's going on around you and focus on what YOU CAN control, not on all the chaos. Don’t let 2020 become the “lost year.” Don't put your car in park and WAIT for something to happen! Open the door and ACT! Move some BOULDERS like you do it everyday!
